Review: Uwe Boll's Postal is Only Partly Horrible.

C. Robert Cargill,  Oct 03, 2007

Uwe Boll, the shameless self-promoter, incredible fundraiser and most notably the Internet's most notorious (and loathed) filmmaker, is back. This time he's thrown out any and all hope of making a successful, serious video game adaptation. Instead he's moved into a completely different realm - that of comedy and self-parody - with the film Postal. The result is easily his best and most watchable film.

Of course that's like dating four cows and saying the last one was the best kisser. It's what we call faint praise.

Postal is not a good film. It's not even close to a good film. But oddly enough it is catching a lot of people by surprise. Boll has actually set the bar so low that when he makes something that elicits at least one intentional laugh, people take notice. "Hey! He was trying to be funny! And he was!"

Once again Boll turns to the realm of video games for his material, this time adapting the sequel to one of the most notorious games in history. The original Postal was a first person shooter (like Halo) about a disgruntled USPS employee who goes on a shooting rampage. Guess what? You played the postal employee. Yeah, you could say it kicked up its share of controversy. The sequel (on which this was based) attempted to be equally as offensive without getting into the legal problems the first one had. I hear it was fun. Sadly, the movie isn't.

It's the story of a guy whose life pretty much stinks and turns to his con man uncle (who runs a cult) for a big break and a way out of his troubles. The resulting mayhem involves a heist, children's toys that bear a striking resemblance to genitalia, and a race against time against Osama Bin Laden and the Taliban. Chock full of deliberate attempts to offend (without the requisite humor to back it up), anti-American sentiments meant to taunt the audience, and even a self referential moment involving a gunfight between Director Boll (playing himself) and the video game's creator (screaming at Boll for what his movie is doing to his video game), the movie seems to be the cinematic equivalent of Bayou Frog art. You know, where you throw it at the wall and see what sticks. Sadly, while you can see what's being aimed at, nothing ever really hits its target.

This is a movie which you pretty much already know whether or not you are going to watch it. I could write for hours telling you how bad this is in hopes of you avoiding it, but I know many of you are just nodding along mumbling "Well, I've got to see it anyway." And I tell you now, it's not nearly as bad as you're expecting, but nowhere near as good as it should be. Although, even I have to admit using a house cat as a silencer is funny. Apparently there is something for everyone in this - one joke they'll laugh at. But I've yet to find someone who laughed at two. This one rates pretty high on the complete waste-o-time-meter.

C. Robert Cargill - - - Email Me
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Austin-based Cargill, who not only loves but owns The Cutting Edge, writes on movies and DVD five times a week.