Review: Run Fat Boy Run Is Rock for People with Low Ambitions

In case you haven’t seen a trailer for Run Fat Boy Run, Simon Pegg, star of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, plays the titular "fat boy." Except, of course, he’s not really fat. He’s just kind of, I don’t know, plump. Yes, the British are in general a less, um, husky people than we Americans, but if Pegg’s extra fifteen pounds qualifies internationally as "fat," then this country is even unhealthier than I already knew it was. I’m 6'2" and 195 pounds, which means I could be the fat boy in question. Why hasn’t anybody ever told me I was such a disgusting pig? Excuse me for a moment, I have to go vomit in my toilet ...

Ah, all better. Lost about three pounds there. Anyway, back on topic. Run Fat Boy Run, aside from lacking commas in its Americanized title -- rather than the Brits’ Run, Fat Boy, Run, which makes more grammatical sense than our bastardized excuse for English -- is about Dennis, an out-of-shape -- not fat -- security guard with intimacy issues and a kid he constantly lets down. Five years ago he was all set to marry said kid's mother, then pregnant, but rather than walk down the aisle with the impossibly beautiful Thandie Newton, a woman who would never even make out with an unfamous Pegg in the real world, he opts to run, run, keep running, out-of-shape boy. Libby (Newton) is now dating uber-douche Whit (Hank Azaria, who doesn’t even have to act to seem douchy), a handsome, ambitious, financially successful guy with a penchant for running marathons. He’s everything Dennis is not -- even a better father figure -- which pisses Dennis off, since deep down he has self-esteem issues and really just needs to learn to love himself. To win Libby back, Dennis decides to run the city marathon against Whit, proving to her that he’s not a loser and that, contrary to what she and everybody else thinks about him, he can actually finish something. This decision is made in spite of the fact that Dennis can’t even run to the end of his block without breaking into wheeze. I empathize. My girlfriend constantly asks me to "walk" with her, and even that seems draining.

Dennis recruits his best friend Gordon (Dylan Moran) and landlord Mr. Ghoshdashtidar (Harish Patel) to serve as his trainers and starts getting in shape. But when he watches Libby accept a marriage proposal from Whit, he gives up hope, until he finally realizes -- hold on to your heart here, folks -- he’s running not for Libby, but for himself. It’s like Rocky, but for people with low ambitions. Director David Schwimmer -- yes, the Friends guy -- does an admirable job behind the camera and milks the sub-par script for what laughs he can, relying substantially on the comic skills and inherent likability of Pegg, but neither was apparently capable of elevating Run Fat Boy Run beyond "sweet, but forgettable." This is because Dennis is an ass; he left his pregnant fiancé at the altar and has since demonstrated nary a shred of maturity. The fact that Libby might even consider taking him back makes her just as pathetic.

C

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