James Bond may be the movies' biggest franchise and the titles are iconic: Dr. No. The Spy Who Loved Me. From Russia With Love. Quantum of Solace. When the title of the 22nd Bond feature was released, a call rang around the Internet: Huh?

Yes, Bond purist guy, Ian Fleming did write a short story called Quantum of Solace, but it was about a dinner party. Not exactly international intrigue. Besides, he wrote a story called 007 in New York too. Who wants to see that on a billboard? Sounds like a Crocodile Dundee vehicle. (He also wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Case = rested.)

If they're that hard up for a name, why not come to us? We're sure we can think of something at least as bad.

Silent Lucidity
Just as wordy, pretentious, and meaningless, and Queensryche's already recorded the theme -- imagine the savings! What with the whole economic downturn, isn't it time for the Bond franchise to belt-tighten? Feel the might of our stimulus package, SPECTRE.

Death Die Kill Shoot Gun Finger Russia
We want to make sure we cover the bases. And for the next one, Tomorrow Never Forever Only Twice.

Nextel Presents a Tostitos Feature: KFC's James Bond in Great Taste ... Less Deadly, Brought to You by Miller Lite
The Bond franchise has never been above branding -- Aston Martin, Omega, BMW, now Ford (fingers crossed for a Focus that turns into a toaster oven) -- but title rights would be huge. You think calling LA's biggest performance arena the "Staples" Center costs a lot? Forget about it.

Neutrino of Effulgence
The formula seems to be physics word + of + kind of pompous word. Torque of Magnanimity? Thermodynamics of Braggadocio? I can keep this up all day!

Just for the Hull of It
GoldenEye was named for Fleming's Jamaica estate. He also owned a yacht.

Silent but Deadly
For a second, didn't that look real? I can just see Pink or some other pop wash-up crooning into a '30s–style mike that costs eight thousand dollars, wearing a weave and a flapper dress: "Siiiilent" bwah bwah! "buuut deeaaadlyyyy" bwa-da-da-da-da!

Gadgets, Accents, Famous Actress in Bikini
Finally some truth in advertising. Let's see Pink try to sing that one.

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