Forget about the latest remake of Asian horror or whatever Britney Spears did to her poor children lately. This is scary: a member of the English Parliament wants the British government to get even more involved in censoring violent movies and video games than it already is. The British Board of Film Classification can ban a film outright, absolutely refuse it the right to be made legally available in the U.K., on its say-so. Even the dreaded MPAA in the United States can't do that.

It almost can, in effect, because even though film producers are not required to submit a film for rating by the MPAA, it's tough to get noticed without a rating: many newspapers won't carry ads for unrated films, and Blockbuster won't rent unrated DVDs. But still, lack of a rating may be a death sentence, or near enough, but it's not quite a ban. The British bill failed, but God forbid some U.S. congressman or senator looking to make himself a major pain in the ass heard about it: things could get dramatically worse than they are now.

Because, sure, we complain about the MPAA and how cluelessly stuck in the 19th century it is about, you know, everything: consensual romantic sex between adults gets rated harsher than bloody cartoonish violence. Are we all still swooning over flashes of ankle? But the moment American politicians latch onto movie ratings, we're doomed. Though it could make for some interesting spectacles, too: Will a conservative Southern senator rant about Brokeback Mountain II only later to be caught furtively slo-mo-ing through the naughty parts? Will a crime-fighting Northeastern governor who rampages against movies about the mafia later be caught paying $80,000 for black market DVDs?

They're clueless, these guys, and a little scary. That British MP, Julian Brazier, the one who wanted more control over film censorship? He thinks that the French movie Irreversible, one of the most horrific movies I've ever seen, "glamorizes rape." We don't want anyone who thinks Irreversible is glamorous anywhere near movies. Hell, we don't want him anywhere near other human beings.

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MaryAnn Johanson (email me)
reviews, reviews, reviews! at FlickFilosopher.com

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