Jack Black vs. Adam Sandler: Who Ya Got?

Actor Adam Sandler attends the "Reign Over Me" premiere at the Skirball Center for the Performing Arts at New York University March 20, 2007 in New York City
NEW YORK - MARCH 20: Actor Adam Sandler attends the "Reign Over Me" premiere at the Skirball Center for the Performing Arts at New York University March 20, 2007 in New York City. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images) - Getty Images
C. Robert Cargill

Once again, it's a weekend battle of head-to-head stars. In this corner, we have the animated antics of Jack Black in the family-friendly martial arts epic, Kung Fu Panda. And in this corner we have the over-the-top comic stylings of Adam Sandler in the counter-programming extravaganza that is You Don't Mess with the Zohan. You know the rules. Let's drop the cage. Two men enter! One man leaves!

In the box office this weekend: Winner - Black. The kids are out of school (or about to be) and this summer is in desperate need of some PG-rated animated fare, voiced by big-name talents. Enter Jack Black, with Hollywood's hottest talents in tow, starring in what appears to be a classic kung fu training film blended with Pixar-style characters and comedy. And it's going against what? An Adam Sandler-helmed film about an Israeli soldier who wants to be a hairdresser? With Rob Schneider playing a terrorist? Terrorist humor? In an election year? I'm betting on the Panda.

In the critical arena: Winner - Black. Sandler has long been the whipping boy of modern critics, with his crass humor never appealing to the high-brow crowd. It looked for a while like he was moving towards being a critical darling, but now he's back to his old tricks. Kung Fu Panda, on the other hand, gives a lot of critics their chance to pull out and dust off their extensive history-of-kung-fu lectures. And that will make many critics -- especially the internet critics -- very happy indeed. By the way, did I mention my reviews of the new Shaw Brothers classic Come Drink with Me and Heroes of the East?

In their careers: Winner - Sandler. Although Black has been in more immortal, critically acclaimed films, Sandler had a classic run on SNL and has forged an incredibly prominent comedy production house with Happy Madison Productions. The guy is a strong force behind the scenes, and he may in fact be on a comeback swing with the recent announcement that he's in former roommate Judd Apatow's new flick. This round goes to the Sandler.

In a fight: Winner - Huh? Okay, wait. Give me a minute. Let me catch my breath. I'm not saying these guys can't fight, because they are after all dudes. But I find it hard to imagine either of them in a fight that doesn't involve rolling around on the floor, trying to rip on in each others face while yelling "Say it! Say uncle!" I just can't.

Winner - Black. Summer animated kids film about kung fu equals what we on the internet call "Full of Win."



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