Trailer Parked: Evening, Transformers

Dre Rivas,  May 24, 2007

Hello, boys and girls, once again it's time we take a peek at everyone's favorite part of going to the movies: coming attractions.

Evening
Directed by: Lajos Koltai
Starring: Claire Danes, Toni Collette, Vanessa Redgrave, Patrick Wilson, Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, Hugh Dancy, Natasha Richardson and Mamie Gummer

This is a trailer strategically designed to make every male member in the audience cringe in fear. Men, your mouth will hang open, your lip will snarl as you look over cautiously to your wife or girlfriend, pleading, Please, please, please don't tell me you're dragging me to this. Please!

This trailer makes The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood look like Die Hard. What's really horrifying about Evening's coming attraction is that it seems to last about 18 minutes (it actually runs for a longish 2:58 but goodness ... ). Your lip trembles as you wait for some semblance of light at the other end of the tunnel. The geriatric names just don't stop coming at you, though ... Vanessa Redgrave ... Meryl Streep ... Glenn Close ... with Claire Danes, Toni Collette, Natasha Richardson and Mamie Gummer riding shotgun. Yeah, Patrick Wilson is in it too. This looks like bad news.

Transformers
Directed by: Michael Bay
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Bernie Mac

Now here's a good trailer. I've watched this a good ten times just to cleanse Evening out of my system.

Forget the chick-flick versus Michael Bay flick comparison. This trailer actually makes an effort to promise some form of entertainment (unlike some other ones that I will leave nameless). And nevermind the bizarre concept of an invading alien robot species who for some odd reason transform into vehicles found only on Earth. Just shut that part of your brain down temporarily. Tell it to shush and I have a very good reason why:

There is GIANT TRANSFORMING ROBOT ACTION to be found here. I say again, GIANT TRANSFORMING ROBOT ACTION!

Whoa, Nellie (ed note: do people still say this?) this trailer delivers in a big way. The multiple shots of mid-air transformation got me doing a happy dance early on but the Optimus Prime reveal halfway through (complete with the old-school transforming sound from the '80s cartoon) ... bliss. This is the film Michael Bay was born to make. Consider my nitpick switch turned off.

Sadly the exclusive trailer of which Dre speaks is only available here. Dear Dreamworks, please in the future consider us for some exclusive love. We promise we'll treat you right. Sincerely yours, Film.com

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Dre writes three times a week for Film.com, covering Movies and DVD with his Floridian flare. E-mail him!