Fanboys: When Directors Strike Back

In case you have not followed the wearisome saga of the movie Fanboys -- that is to say, in case you have more important things to worry about, such as, oh, anything -- I will summarize it for you before we proceed with today's business, which is making fun of everyone involved.

Kyle Newman directed a comedy called Fanboys, about a group of major Star Wars nerds sneaking into George Lucas headquarters in 1999 to steal a print of The Phantom Menace before its release so that their cancer-stricken buddy can see it before he dies. Bob and Harvey Weinstein bought distribution rights to the film, then set about changing it, bringing in director Steven Brill (a regular Adam Sandler co-conspirator) to shoot additional scenes. The new version takes out the cancer subplot altogether and apparently drastically alters the film.

To make matters worse, now the Weinsteins may not release Fanboys theatrically at all, instead sending it straight to DVD -- but which version? The original, or the Steven Brill reshoot? More likely, they'll release both, months apart, in order to wring more money out of Star Wars fans (a tactic that Star Wars fans should be used to by now).

But wait, it gets better. Last week, angry e-mail exchanges between Fanboys supporters and Steven Brill were made public by Cinematical. One nerd told Brill, "You suck for re-cutting 'Fanboys,'" to which Brill responded, "U suck for e mailing me your bulls*** whining. U r gonna like fanboys better because of me and then u can kiss my ass." Brill's subsequent responses to other e-mails were similar in tone, syntax, and maturity level.

This is my favorite kind of controversy: the kind where everybody's wrong and everybody's a jackass. On the one hand, you have fans defending a movie they haven't even seen against changes that, for all they know, may actually improve it. On the other hand, you have a 45-year-old man acting (and writing) like he's in middle school, having an Internet debate with a bunch of basement-dwellers.

I can see why introducing Steven Brill to the mix would be a cause for concern. The man's directorial efforts include Little Nicky, Mr. Deeds, Without a Paddle, and the current Drillbit Taylor. Why would the Weinsteins bring in someone like this to fix a movie? That's like calling the Three Stooges to respond to your plumbing emergency.

Some of the fans were also concerned that Brill wasn't enough of a Star Wars aficionado himself to adequately do the job. Surely a movie about fanboys should be made by a fanboy! I agree with that reasoning. The fact that Alfred Hitchcock was not a cross-dressing schizophrenic murderer is why I never took Psycho seriously.

At this point, the Weinsteins haven't said for sure what they're going to do. The Fanboys fanboys have organized a boycott of all Weinstein films in the meantime. They even picketed some theaters showing the Weinsteins' new Superhero Movie last weekend, and they're taking credit for the film tanking, which probably overstates their influence a bit.

The Weinsteins should be careful here. If there's one thing history has taught us, it's that when you release a subpar alternate version of a Star Wars-related film, the fanboys will respond with anger and fury, complaining about it constantly as they go to the theater 20 times to watch it. Watch your backs, Weinsteins!

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Eric D. Snider (website) wishes Steven Brill would e-mail him, too.

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