For some reason the trailer for the upcoming Prom Night slasher flick has been in heavy rotation, so I've seen it about six times in the last two months. In the course of these viewings, I've noticed several things that ring true with my own prom experience. I see girls wearing corsages and getting their hair done, and nervous guys putting on tuxedos and hoping to get some action. I see proud parents taking pictures. Those elements have been part of prom since prom was invented (by the Mayans, in the fifth century A.D.).

But I also notice a few things in the trailer that suggest this Prom Night will be very different from my own prom night, way back in 1992. Not that I was expecting a documentary or anything, but come on, can't we get the basics right? Here are...

10 Differences Between the Prom Night Trailer and My Actual Prom Night:

1.) No one at this prom appears to have spent every penny he earned working part-time for the previous 12 months. In fact, no one at this prom seems put out by the expense at all. Their parents probably paid for everything. If you ask me, they deserve whatever stabbings they get.

2.) There were no homicidal maniacs at my prom. Wait -- I forgot about the football players. OK, there were very few homicidal maniacs at my prom.

3.) The film uses a new emo version of Cyndi Lauper's classic "Time After Time." At my prom, it's entirely possible we heard the original. It's also possible that the young man singing "Time After Time" in the trailer was not born yet.

4.) The trailer has glimpses of people sitting in corners and sobbing, but not for the same reasons I had.

5.) Because of the psychopath, there is a heavy police presence at the Prom Night prom. My prom had no police involvement until afterward, when they arrested pretty much everyone for drunk driving.

6.) As far as I'm concerned, it's not prom until a bucket of pig's blood is dumped on someone.

7.) My prom was also held at a hotel. (High schools set it up this way to make it convenient for the students to have sex with each other.) But it was a hotel that had other guests, and employees, and lots of exits. There was no way of being trapped inside by a killer. Someone did get a parking ticket, though. That was serious business.

8.) Someone in the trailer yells, "He's not gonna stop until he gets her!" Yeah, that seems about right.

9.) The people at my prom were all around 17 or 18 years old, not 25.

10.) All in all, I'd say my real prom night and the Prom Night trailer feature about the same level of emotional trauma.

* * * * *
Eric D. Snider (website) didn't think prom was going to be the best night of his life, so he wasn't disappointed when it wasn't.

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