Mirrors as Horror? Nah. Here Are Some Household Items That Truly Scare

If you think Mirrors looks scary, wait till you see the one about the futon.
Kiefer Sutherland in 20th Century Fox's 'Mirrors'
Kiefer Sutherland in 20th Century Fox's 'Mirrors' - 20th Century Fox
Eric D. Snider

This week a creepy-looking film called Mirrors will hit theaters, and if it does its job, it will make audiences terrified of all reflective surfaces for months to come. You'll see people walking around with their makeup badly applied or their hair ridiculously disheveled and you'll think, "That person has seen Mirrors" (or, possibly, "That person is Courtney Love").

This is not the first time that a horror movie has capitalized on the terrors of ordinary household objects, though. Poltergeist used television sets to terrify us. An all-but-forgotten Stephen King film called The Mangler had a haunted washing machine as its monster. Sigourney Weaver's refrigerator was a portal to hell (or something) in Ghostbusters. And a few years ago, The Boogeyman had a guy who was afraid of doors. (Yes, really. Doors.) Plenty of films have explored the fear of closets and basements, and in some cases it's the house itself that's scary.

But surely there is more horror in the home just waiting to be tapped. We did some brainstorming, and here are...

5 HOUSEHOLD ITEMS THAT DESERVE THEIR OWN HORROR MOVIES

Futon
The premise: This piece of furniture is already a terrifying hybrid. Is it an uncomfortable couch, or is it an uncomfortable bed? IT'S BOTH! The film would be about a futon that devours overnight guests, which maybe isn't such a bad thing after all.
Tagline: "Your visiting in-laws will get a good night's rest ... before they REST IN PEACE!"

Candlestick
The premise: After being used as a murder weapon in countless games of Clue, the candlestick finally takes on a life of its own and possesses anyone who picks it up with a desire to kill.
Tagline: "In the library, in the conservatory, and IN HELL!"

Wardrobe
The premise: When kids open the old-fashioned wardrobe, they find a portal to a terrifying dimension where talking lions enact biblical allegories and ice witches give addictive candy to children!
Tagline: "The lion, the witch, and THE DEVIL!"

Piano
The premise: Piano wire has been used as a murder weapon plenty of times, but we're talking about the whole instrument being evil here. Imagine a piano that strikes you dead if you play a certain combination of notes. Then imagine a disgraced concert pianist lures his enemies to their deaths by inviting them to his home and persuading them to tickle the ivories.
Tagline: "Do re mi fa so la ti DIE!"

Garbage Disposal
The premise: A garbage disposal behaves erratically. It's always getting clogged, and just when the homeowner reaches his hand deep down inside it to investigate -- reaches waaaay down deep inside, all the way to his elbow -- suddenly, nothing happens. You were expecting it to come to life and pulverize his hand, right? Nah, too generic. Instead, the garbage disposal's accomplice, the toaster, falls into the sink and electrocutes the guy.
Tagline: "You get that sinking feeling ... AND THEN YOU DIE!"

* * * * *

Eric D. Snider is afraid of everything in his house, but is also afraid of going outside.


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