"None of it has much story, logic, or heart. We deserve better."

Max Payne isn't so much a movie as it is a collection of scenes they're hoping you won't pay much attention to. The writing / producing / directing team cribbed from a collection of interesting films over the past decade, threw them into Max Payne stew, and prayed Mark Wahlberg seemed tough enough to convince teenage boys to tell a friend. The problem isn't that this is a video-game film. Those can work; heck, those have worked. No, the problem is that it's a poorly done film regardless of the source material.

Max's wife and child are brutally murdered, leaving Detective Payne a shell of a man. Even three years later he's on the hunt, looking for his wife's killer with cold determination. So far, so good. That plot could work. But we're just thrown into this little world where it rains all the time and Wahlberg's voice never imparts any emotion. I get it, I get it! He's sad and angry. Unfortunately, Wahlberg comes off more numb than anything else, and it's almost impossible to take a journey with someone you have no emotional connection to.

For fun I think we should take a look at films Max Payne takes visual and thematic elements from. Ready? Here goes!

Gladiator
You know the angelic scenes where Russell Crowe's wife plays in the golden wheat field? Max Payne's wife must have been right there beside her, giving her own little messages of hope.

Payback
Actually, I'd recommend you see this film instead. It's an underrated Mel Gibson piece where he's on the hunt for revenge. But the whole vibe is used in Payne. Lethal, cold-blooded, killer. What's missing from Payne is Gibson's level of dialogue.

xXx
Vin Diesel's bad ass definitely destroys Wahlberg's try. But the random explosions, the dark color palette, the focus on tattoos, the foxy and ready-to-rock ladies: these are all xXx standards.

The Bourne Franchise
The one stylistic element the Jason Bourne series excelled at was back-lit water scenes. You know what I'm talking about. Our hero is sprawled out, mostly unconscious, bullets whiz by him in the water. He's slowly sinking, arms spread wide, the darkness closing in. Bourne nailed these scenes with grace as they were set up by a solid movie. Max Payne makes 'em look pretty, but it's like that really sugary icing you get on cheap sheet cakes. There's no overall goodness to sustain your goodwill.

Man on Fire
Denzel is haunted and the film is visually dynamic. Max Payne has moments of that too. There are at least 15 good minutes in Payne. Sadly, they all happen when no one is talking or trying to tell the story.

The Matrix
Sure, everyone steals "bullet time" and slo-mo heavy machine gun fire. Wanted did it earlier this year too, but at least they added a few new wrinkles in. Max Payne puts Wahlberg in essentially the same set at times ... the same cardboard pillars, elevators, and office buildings Keanu once strolled through. But it's been ten years since The Matrix was dropped on us like a 15,000lb elephant! Now we're expecting more if you're spending millions of dollars to attempt to entertain.

Really, they'd have been better off calling this film Max Payne: Run and Shoot because that's what most of the film is about. People run and randomly shoot at things while moody music blasts at you. Every once in awhile a CGI demon flies over to impart a sense of dread. But none of it has much story, logic, or heart. We deserve better.

Grade: D

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