Stop. Just stop it.

Stop whining about poor old Lindsay Lohan’s substance abuse problem.

I don’t usually weigh in on celebrity scandals and misfortunes, but this one has my ire up.

As word of Lindsay’s entry into rehab spread faster than flames through Suzanne Somers’ Malibu mansion, I felt compelled to ask: Why do I care?

Aside from the compulsion to watch another human being who has been blessed with fortune and fame self-destruct in a shameful and irresponsible way, why does anyone care?

The answer is, of course, because of our compulsion to watch another human being who has been blessed with fortune and fame self-destruct in a shameful and irresponsible way.

Look, I feel sorry for anyone struggling with substance abuse. Having dealt with some very minor addictions in my own life, I’m quite sure it’s no walk in the park to overcome alcohol or drug abuse.

But seriously, folks, let’s say, for the sake of argument, that Lindsay’s rehab fails, her career is shot, and she never makes another film again. What are we really losing? Freaky Saturday? Even Meaner Girls? Herbie Rides Yet Again?

Watching the blaring headlines on ET, The Insider, and even traditional news programs such as the Today show, you would have thought we were talking about some prodigious actress like Hilary Swank, Renee Zellweger or Nicole Kidman. Uh … no.

And is this really a surprise? Who didn’t see this coming? Let me know if they catch Judi Dench smoking crack, then I’ll be surprised.

Sad as I or anyone might feel about Lindsay Lohan as a person trying to overcome destructive addiction, on an artistic scale, I don’t think we’re going to miss out on a whole lot if she never films another scene. Of course, she will. These days in Hollywood, rehab is just another must-have line on your resume.

Ethan Morris: “Not always right, but never in doubt.” Go ahead and write me.