Well … it has finally happened. target="_blank">Sanjaya Malakar and his constantly changing hairdos have been eliminated from American
Idol.

How rude of all you AI voters to send Sanjaya packing before I had a chance to write my “What If Sanjaya Actually Won?” blog. I had a great article planned about a world where airline pilots must learn to avoid flying pigs and Satan moves to Phoenix because his home has “frozen over.” It would have been funny, trust me.

Instead, America has finally given arguably this season’s worst top-12 contestant his walking papers. A lot of people might think it’s about time. But don’t you feel a little bad? Sanjaya’s tears after he had been ousted were certainly genuine. And at least he was able to joke about it, singing, “Let’s give them something to talk about, other than HAIR.”

Oddly, voters actually listened to the judges this week. I don’t think I’ve heard a worse critique than they dished out Tuesday night. Sanjaya’s rendition of “Something to Talk About” gave RP&J plenty to bash him about. For the second week in a row, Randy called it “karaoke.” The best Paula could muster was a weak, “You thrive on adversity.” And Simon was downright disgusted, acting as if just listening to Sanjaya was a terrible waste of his time. Uh, pardon me, Simon, but at least you’re getting paid to listen — the rest of us have to listen for free.

 
Watch Sanjaya Get Booted

Speaking of Simon, the real story of Tuesday night’s Idol wasn’t anything Sanjaya sang, but something Simon did. After Chris Richardson offered his thoughts and prayers to families and victims of the Virginia Tech shooting, a camera caught Simon rolling his eyes. Now the Idol wagons are circling. At the beginning of Wednesday’s show, Simon said he was actually rolling his eyes at Paula — an explanation supported by the href="http://www.americanidol.com/news/view/?pid=704" target="_blank">official Idol statement. A replay of the previous night’s show from every camera angle seems to validate Simon’s story. Okay, so he’s not an unfeeling, insensitive jerk, just a jerk.

And another by the way … I don’t mean to keep harping on this, but for the record SEATTLE STILL ROCKS! Even though Sanjaya’s gone, Blake Lewis from Bothell, Washington, is still in it. And remember — href="http://www.americanidol.com/contestants/season6/jordin_sparks/"
target="_blank">Jordin Sparks (my personal favorite) auditioned in Seattle too. Worth mentioning since Randy, Paula and Simon all bashed Seattle’s contestants after their tryouts. Yet somehow, mysteriously, they represent a third of the final six, including one of the best singers left (Jordin). Way to go, Emerald City!

One other quick note about Wednesday’s show: Fergie, loved your song, but please stop trying to dance on stage. 1. You can’t. And 2. You’ll never be Gwen Stefani, so just stop trying.

With Sanjaya gone, it’s down to three guys vs. three girls. Chris, Blake and Phil Stacey against Jordin, LaKisha Jones and Melinda Doolittle. So who’s next to go? Odds are Phil. Seriously, a lot of odds-makers are predicting he’ll be the next to go even though the judges loved his country night performance. (Randy called it “hot” and said Phil might actually have a career in country music.) But after LaKisha and Blake ended up in the bottom three this week, your guess is as good as mine.

Before I go, perhaps we can all take a moment to say farewell to Sanjaya. Bad as he was, few Idol contestants were more entertaining. Sanjaya, we’ll miss you, buddy! I’m sure I’ll see you in a karaoke bar near me soon.

Photo Gallery: The Styles of Sanjaya

Ethan Morris: “Not always right, but never in doubt.” href="mailto:goaheadandwrite@gmail.com">Go ahead and write me.