What do you get when you take Shakespeare's Hamlet and lock it in a theater with South Park co-writer Pam Brady, writer/director Andrew Fleming (The Craft), Steve Coogan (Hot Fuzz), Amy Poehler (as a ball-busting, trash-talking ACLU lawyer), and Sexy Jesus? South Park for thespians? A foul-mouthed Monty Python? A one-way ticket to hell? Whoever is responsible for Sexy Jesus's crotch-clutching stage number is most certainly damned. (That last part was written by my Catholic conscience.)

The answer is Hamlet 2. The off-color comedy kicks off at Arizona's West Mesa High School when failed-actor-turned-failing-drama-teacher (his acting apex was a herpes commercial; he demonstrates dramatic effect by hurling a trash can at a student's head) played by Steve Coogan pens a politically incorrect, Shakespearean sequel to save the theater department from closure.

Hark, what's dost thou sayeth? Hamlet part deux? Aren't Hamlet, Ophelia, and the others still snoring in their graves? Fear not. There's a device. A time machine that resurrects Hamlet and introduces him to every girl (and boy's) dreamboat Jesus. And if you think you know Jesus, his Rock Me Sexy Jesus song-and-dance number may reveal a side of him (he's got "a swimmer's bod") that will make you douse your head in holy water to wash away the disbelief, and the sin. Ruffled by the play's "unwholesome content," high school authorities threaten to shut the offensive opus down. Methinks they were troubled by the scene where Satan and the President of the United States French-kiss.

And the sacrilege and satire doesn't stop there. The flick shamefully fires comedic shots at Christians, gays, Latinos, the American Civil Liberties Union and ... Elizabeth Shue (but she's OK with it; she's in the movie).

But if citizens of the land of movie make-believe are appalled, non-sexy Christ-lovin' viewers in the real world must be equally, if not doubly, disturbed, right? Right ... um ... Christians, conservatives? Hello? Honk if you hate Sexy Jesus.

[crickets chirping ... ]

Apparently not.

According to Pam Brady the lack of conservative backlash is owed to clever strategy: "We're trying to kiss up to the conservative movement by slamming the ACLU." Or, as Fleming puts it, "We consider ourselves equal opportunity offenders." They're not giving up hope though. During a Comic-Con interview Fleming asked the reporter if he would "mind picketing the movie when it comes out." From the looks of things so far, however, it's more likely the picture's screenings will be mobbed by long-haired, Sexy Jesus impersonators than right-wing protesters. Who wouldn't want to join Team Jesus?

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