I don't know what to say about the acting, writing and directing in G.I. Joe because I couldn't find any. There were scads of pretty people posing awkwardly in military chic and tossing out lame one-liners. Take this exchange between Army pals Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans):

Ripcord: "I've been thinking."

Duke: "I warned you about that."

To be fair, not thinking is good advice if you line up for G.I. Joe, the next phase of Paramount's Cash for Clunkers campaign, begun with Trans…