It all begins on the first day of high school, when a trio of anxious freshmen--chubby Ryan, freakishly skinny Wade and their shrimpy tagalong, Emmit--become the instant target of the school’s senior psycho-in-residence, Filkins, the ultimate school bully. As what they were hoping to be the best years of their lives are suddenly turned into a daily living hell, the boys realize they have only one choice--to hire their own personal bodyguard. Enter Drillbit Taylor, not the best but definitely the cheapest of the mercenaries, hit men and bodyguards who answer their online ad. Drillbit is steely, dangerous and skilled in covert black-ops and exotic martial arts. He’s also a complete fraud. He bluffs and cajoles the credulous trio through his cockamamie boot camp and, after several hilarious missteps, instills in them new skills and some much needed confidence. But when push comes to shove--and more pushing and more shoving--Drillbit seems to be no match for Filkins’ reign of terror. Now it’s up to Ryan, Wade and Emmit to transform this down-and-out drifter into the savior he originally promised to be.