Real talk, world: Hollywood puts out some stinkers, and you just keep buying tickets. Yes, we Americans are also a part of the problem. For starters, we make the clunky things: $100 million-plus-budget blockbusters starring famous pretty faces (or their B- and C-list substitutes) with predictable storylines and expensive CGI. Watered-down film adaptations, sloppy sequels, inane action flicks packed with mind-numbing eye candy. Multi-gazillion-dollar movies about cars that turn into robots? We made two of them. Another sequel is on its way, so just sit tight.

But as we American moviegoers keep these brainless blockbusters in business, are you making it worse by encouraging bad movies even more?

Look to evidence from this year alone that foreign audiences love our crappiest blockbusters: of the five highest-grossing global hits of 2009, the three with the worst reviews — Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (45 percent on Rotten Tomatoes), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (19 percent), and 2012 (38 percent) — earned a majority of their box office in foreign theaters.

What’s going on here? Let’s take a closer look at some of the best-performing bad movies of 2009:

Case Study #1: Transformers 2: Illiterate Robots and Megan the Fox. Critics hated the film. But moviegoers bought tickets in the millions to see Shia Labeouf act neurotic, watch CGI pixels fight each other, and hope Megan Fox would bend over a hot car engine one more time. Foreign sales drew $431 million. What may have appealed to international audiences: Robots and Megan Fox.

Case Study #2: Angels & Demons. Americans gave $133 million worth of box office to Angels & Demons, even though we’d practically seen the same thing the first time around in the even-more-terrible Da Vinci Code. But for some reason, international audiences ate this crap up even more than we did; with $354.5 million in foreign sales, foreign moviegoers made up for over 72 percent of Angels & Demons‘ global take in 2009. International Appeal: Conspiracy theories, Tom Hanks‘ de-mulleted hair.

Case Study #3: 2012. Of course the entire world wanted to watch Roland Emmerich destroy America! Even Americans put their post-9/11 sensitivities on hold to see the fine state of California slip into the Pacific and the Vatican crumble to pieces. How else will we be prepared, Pull-Ups and plane lessons and maps of Africa in hand, when it all begins just a few years from now? International Appeal: Seeing how the world will end.

Case Study #4: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince That Keeps on Going. OK, so the sixth film in the globally-beloved film franchise actually earned good reviews. It also earned the #1 spot in worldwide box-office returns this year so far, thanks to over $627 million in foreign sales (vs. $301.9 million in domestic sales). However, this confluence of commercial and critical success is such an anomaly that, sadly, we can hardly call it typical. (Ditto the great word-of-mouth success of Pixar’s Up, a $500 million-plus earner with a most unlikely subject: old people.) International Appeal: Wizards.

Based on my highly unscientific survey, I conclude that global audiences love robots, conspiracies, Armageddon, and wizards. Sometimes, they love them even more than Americans do. Maybe they’re suckers for silly plots. And, perhaps, they don’t care too much what critics say; if it’s got fighting, destroying, magic wand-ing, or a smokin’ hot chick, our foreign friends are there. Whether or not it’s actually, you know, good, is entirely incidental.

But who can blame them? We’re the same way. The only solution may be to lead by example. Resist the siren call of Megan Fox’s cleavage! Watch a critically-acclaimed classic instead of the next big-budget shoot ‘em up actioner! Opt for art-house instead of disaster porn! Be the change you want to see in the world (of movies).

Jen Yamato writes weekly for Film.com.

Tags: 2012, angels & demons, box office, international audienes, transformers