"For good old-fashioned, family-friendly entertainment, Beverly Hills Chihuahua is a must-see!"

For starters, this is probably the single greatest film in the history of mankind. I cannot recall the last time I was so moved by such a masterful work of cinema. In fairness, I own a Chihuahua, and, in my unbiased opinion, they are the greatest breed of dogs ever and anything adorable and involving Chihuahuas has my full and unconditional support.

But my editor's going to send me angry instant messages if I don't expand on my position, so I will. He would also like to state, for the record, that he adamantly disagrees with my grade of this movie and feels it ought to be substantially lower. That is because he is cold and unloving.

Listen: If you want to watch complicated characters grapple with complex moral and ethical dilemmas, this is not the film for you. If you want to watch buildings explode and hear the rat-a-tat-tat of semi-automatic gunfire, this is not the film for you. If you're willing to suspend your disbelief to some extent, but not to the point where dogs, iguanas and rats, ya know, talk in English (even the ones born and raised in Mexico!), this is not the film for you.

In terms of the film that it's trying to be, though, Beverly Hills Chihuahua goes above and beyond. Drew Barrymore voices Chloe, an adorable white Chihuahua living in Beverly Hills with her wealthy doting mommy, Viv, played by Jamie Lee Curtis. Chloe's collar is from Harry Winston. Need I say more? Viv's landscaper is a total hottie named Sam, played by Manolo Cardona, a well-known Spanish-language actor making his English-language debut. I hope to see a lot more of him. And by that I mean I hope he has his shirt off in all upcoming films. Sam has a brown male Chihuahua named Papi, who's in love with Chloe. But Chloe won't talk to Papi because she feels she's out of his league; this makes Papi sad.

Viv goes out of the country on a business trip and entrusts the care of Chloe to her niece, Rachel (played by both Piper Perabo and Piper Perabo's hair extensions), whom Chloe hates and feels is irresponsible. Rachel wastes no time in hauling Chloe off on a spur-of-the-moment trip to Mexico with her girlfriends. Chloe wanders off on her own, where she is kidnapped by evil dog fighters. The remainder of the movie follows Chloe's own attempts to get home -- aided by Delgado (Andy Garcia), a German Shepherd with a dark, mysterious past, and chased by Diablo (Edward James Olmos), a vicious Doberman working for the Bad Guys, who has a bone to pick with Delgado (no pun intended! Ha!) -- and the journey of Rachel, teamed with Sam and Papi, as they try to find Chloe in Mexico. Rest assured that the good guys totally win.

The film is laugh-out-loud funny, with humor for both kids and adults. The voices are charming and the plot is engaging. It offers important messages about finding strength and meaning beyond the material world, about looking at a person's insides rather than outsides, and about growing up and finding your voice in a world that can often be frightening. Best of all, it doesn't take itself too seriously. It blends the depth of its non-human characters with a comical self-awareness: yes, we know we are dealing with talking Chihuahuas here.

Most importantly: the Chihuahuas -- and there are lots of them -- are sooo cute.

For good old-fashioned, family-friendly entertainment, Beverly Hills Chihuahua is a must-see!

Grade: A-

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