How do I hate "Armageddon"? Let me count the ways. I hate it to the depth and breadth and height of its greedy confidence that a jumbo promotion budget (reportedly a record $100 million) can herd an audience into anything -- even a formulaic epic about an asteroid the size of Texas that's on a collision course with Earth. This despite the fact that a similar collection of space clichés was launched back in May, in Deep Impact.

I hate Armageddon for what it is: the unholy spawn of The Dirty Dozen …