"Most of Appaloosa is a great Western... but Harris needed to cut a few pages from the script."

I don't know many folks who love the Western as much as I do, and that's not an exaggeration. I watch about one a week, in fact. This week, I'm up to two and about to toss a third in the DVD player. Because of this affection for the genre, most everyone I know assumed I had nothing but love for last year's 3:10 to Yuma. I didn't. Sure, it was more entertaining than a lot of the crap that hits the big screen, but, compared to the original it stole about 50 percent of its dialogue and almost 100 percent of its structure from, it was wildly disappointing and, worse, not a very good Western for a lot of reasons there's not enough time to get into here.

The less-audience-friendly The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford certainly came closer to the mark, even though nobody paid attention. This year, confirming that the Western is officially making a comeback, Appaloosa tries to build on a century of cinematic history and, to a degree considerably greater than the previous two flicks mentioned, succeeds. But it's also undermined by a terribly miscast leading actress (Renee Zellweger) and, more confusing, a penchant by director (as well as star and co-writer) Ed Harris for letting his two main characters stand around for what feels like most of the movie. Waiting. Watching.Oh look, there's a porch ... maybe we should lean against a pole there and stare at the one horse trotting by! Appaloosa has no momentum except for that provided by the viewer's knowledge that time, despite what's happening on the screen, is marching forward. Consequently, what should have been a very good movie, specifically a great modern Western, becomes just plain ole good. That's not bad. It's just disappointing considering the potential.

Virgil Cole (Harris) and Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen) are mercenary lawmen for hire. Is your town being brutalized by violent ranchers like Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons)? Has your sheriff disappeared while trying to arrest that pesky rancher? Well, hire Virgil and Everett and they'll unleash a couple cases of whoop-ass on the offending parties until peace is restored. That is, unless one of them happens to fall for a passing organist named Allison French (Zellweger). No, "organist" is not a creative reference. She plays an actual organ. Virgil's just glad she's not a lady for hire (like he's used to) and quickly decides to marry her despite the fact that she's, let's just say, promiscuous. Even Everett's fending her off.

Seems the abysmally imagined love interest, portrayed by Zellweger with what's probably best described as squinty boredom, will always veer toward the most impressive stallion around -- even if that stallion happens to be a gunslinger after her fiancé (Lance Henriksen) or, you know, Bragg.

The story is simple enough, what with bros-for-life Virgil and Everett out to deliver Bragg, who's been convicted of the sheriff's murder, to the prison he'll be serving his time in. Allison's presence complicates that, of course. Gunfights occur, though only a few; mostly, like I said, there's just a lot of waiting going on. The penultimate exchange of bullets happens so fast you might miss it, though that would be a shame; it's one of the coolest in conception in recent years. Everything that follows this, however, feels anti-climactic. The movie plods on, never quite making clear there's more action to be had before finally tying a ribbon on this tale of bro-love. Did I mention "plodding" means more standing around? Oh well, most of Appaloosa is a great Western and an entertaining enough movie despite my complaints. Harris just needed to cut a few pages from the script or, at least, edit seven to eight out of his movie.

Grade: B-

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