Max Evry November 5, 2012
Barack Obama? Mitt Romney? Just once we’d like to look at a presidential ballot and see some star power on there. It’s been a generation since “Bedtime For Bonzo” star Ronald Reagan proved an actor could run a country, so why haven’t more thesps reached for that brass ring?
Luckily, we’ve been spared the Pauly Shore administration (so far), but here’s a list of Hollywood phonies we would gladly support on the next ballot initiative.
Anyone who can fly a plane upside down has our vote. This “Flight” star has a once-in-a-generation level of charisma well suited for politics, and even Washington himself once stated his desire to become a preacher. His decades-long advocacy for Boys & Girls Clubs of America has made him a role model for the nation’s youth, who know that if they work hard, study and strive for excellence, then they, too, can become an “American Gangster.”
He’s already played a boozing, womanizing politician in “Charlie Wilson’s War,” to the point where the squeaky-clean image Hanks has in real life almost seems boring in comparison. Still, the man supports some worthwhile causes, including electric cars (he owns a bunch) and support for same-sex marriage. He recently narrated the Obama For America video “The Road We’ve Traveled.”
Having conquered the universe both on film and in the bodybuilding arena, it seemed like all that was left for the Austrian Oak was to be the leader of the free world. As our whole law about being born in America still stands, the Governator’s presidential aspirations will have to wait until the day SKYNET goes online.
Our most favorite red-head earned accolades (and an Emmy) for playing Sarah Palin in the acclaimed HBO Film “Game Change,” but in real life she couldn’t be farther from the… colorful Alaskan. She supports numerous organizations, including the TS Alliance to raise awareness of tuberous sclerosis, Save the Children’s programs, and Planned Parenthood. Most of all, though, she’s got that smile to die for (and vote for).
Call us selfish, but Martin should run for office just so we can see him make a speech wearing an arrow through his head and playing the banjo. While the wild and crazy guy has always been more concerned with making movies and using the money from said movies to fund his massive art collection, he did recently make a fabulous endorsement video for his pal Bob Kerrey’s Nebraska senate campaign.
Although the “Men in Black” superstar has spoken to Obama about playing the POTUS sometime in the future, we could see him getting’ jiggy with the actual Oval Office, Big Willie style. For reals. Although those pesky Scientology rumors might hurt him a tad, he would be the most thoroughly thetan-free President this country’s ever had.
She and former partner Tim Robbins caused more than their fair share of outrage at Oscar ceremonies when they would get into their long political diatribes, but that wasn’t showboating: Susan’s the real deal. A long-time protester and advocate for various causes, from speaking out against the war in Iraq as far back as 2003 to the recent Occupy Wall Street scene. In 1999, she was arrested for protesting the death of African immigrant Amadou Diallo, which makes her pretty badass.
As a semi-professional compulsive golfer, he’s already got at least one important aspect of being a politician down pat. Although Murray would run on a platform to rid America of both ghosts and gophers, we imagine Wes Anderson directing some delightful campaign ads for his filmic muse.
Though this salt and pepper charm machine has been approached by the California Democratic Party, the “Syriana” Oscar-winner has his reasons for not throwing his hat into the political arena. “I didn’t live my life in the right way for politics,” Clooney told CNN. “I f—ed too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that’s the truth.” Still, his humanitarian work on behalf of Darfur, gay rights and as a United Nations Messenger of Peace have been outstanding.
Yes, “Gigli” was a black mark on his filmography, but Affleck’s roundtable pontifications on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher” are always sharp and politically astute. You can tell the boy has done his homework. With his latest directorial hit “Argo” now considered a front-runner for Best Picture, the guy’s career is in full swing, so don’t expect him to start hitting the campaign trail anytime soon.
If you think George Clooney slept with waaay too many women to be in politics, we can’t even imagine the skeletons resting comfortably in this 75-year-old former playboy’s closet. Despite that, his performance as a rapping, no-nonsense California Senator in “Bulworth” made us seriously consider him electable material. Due to his deep commitment to campaign finance reform, gun control and other issues, he’s always been rumored for office, and he proved a fierce opponent of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
If he can stage as many political comebacks as he’s had career comebacks (this man survived “The Shadow,” for crying out loud!) then Baldwin surely has the right stuff for Capital Hill. Besides his work speaking out on behalf of PETA and Save the Manatee Club, he’s gone on record saying he considered running for Governor of New York at some point, perhaps when his tenure on “30 Rock” ends.
Those fans of Alan Moore’s “Watchmen” know that in the alternate ’80s of the graphic novel, Robert Redford becomes the “RR” cowboy actor who runs for office instead of that other guy. Doesn’t seem like too bad an idea, especially given his longstanding support of Native American rights, the environment and artistic endeavors through his Sundance Institute. He’s been somewhat critical of Obama’s environmental policy during the past term, so maybe it’s time for this 76-year-old to give it the ol’ post-post-post college try.
As the lone Libertarian on our list, Russell’s beliefs are, in his own words, “limited constitutional government. I believe in that. Freedom, freedom, freedom. Being a libertarian, I do believe that limited government is good.” Whether you’re Democrat or Republican you gotta dig the Kurt philosophy. Having escaped from both New York and L.A. he seems like the perfect candidate for Middle America. As ol’ Jack Burton would say, “If we’re not back by dawn, call the president.”
Anyone who’s won that many Oscars can win an election in a walk. While her Oscar-winning portrayal of arch-conservative British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in “The Iron Lady showed her tough, stern side, Streep has also been a very vocal spokesperson for the National Women’s History Museum. “I’m very interested in the stories of women, especially the unwritten history of women, and I’m trying very hard to get Congress to let us purchase land on the National Mall to build the first women’s national history museum, something we really should have,” Streep said during the Golden Globes.
Categories: FeaturesTags: Alec baldwin, Arnold schwarzenegger, Ben affleck, Bill murray, Denzel washington, George clooney, Julianne moore, Kurt russell, Matt damon, Meryl streep, Robert redford, Sean penn, Steve martin, Susan Sarandon, Tom hanks, Warren beatty, Will smith