Eric D. Snider
Eric has been a film critic since 1999, and a beard wearer since 2008. He holds a degree in journalism and used to work in "the newspaper industry," back when that was a thing.
5 Shaky Horror Film Premises
Eric D. Snider May 27, 2009
Even though sources as reliable as C. Robert Cargill and myself have told you that Drag Me to Hell is a terrifically entertaining horror film, I don’t blame you if you’re still skeptical. The trailer suggests that the young woman is terrorized because she … denied an old woman a bank loan? And then the old woman put a … a curse on her? Really? That’s what it’s about??
Well, yes. But don’t fret! Premises that sound weak or stupid have been at the root of many classic horror films, and plenty of bad horror films had brilliant-sounding setups before they ruined them. Here are some of the shakiest premises we can think of, along with our assessment of whether they worked or not.
The movie: The Mangler
The shaky premise: A haunted laundry press-and-fold machine attacks people who get too close to it. Strangely, a lot of people get really close to it, even after they know it’s dangerous.
Does it work? No. Not even a little. The film is a mess anyway, but it’s not helped by having such a laundry machine as its “monster.” Realizing how lame this is — just don’t go near it! — the filmmakers had the thing come to life and chase some people around the factory at the end, but that only made it worse.
The shaky premise: There are a lot of birds. Are they giant birds? No. Zombie birds? No. Just regular birds. Lots of them, though!
Does it work: Yes indeed. This and Psycho are the two best reasons for Alfred Hitchcock‘s reputation as the Master of Suspense. The tension over why there are so many birds, and what they’re going to do, is almost unbearable.
The shaky premise: There’s this videotape, you see, and if you watch it, then you get a weird phone call, and then seven days later you die.
Does it work? If the pants I wet the first time I saw this film have anything to say about it, then yes, it worked. This is a prime example of a movie taking an utterly ridiculous idea and making it scary anyway — just like Drag Me to Hell does.
The shaky premise: A doll comes to life and kills people.
Does it work? Not at first, no. While a living doll sounds creepy, it falls apart under scrutiny. How does something that’s 18 inches high and weighs all of five pounds inflict harm on anyone? Why can’t you just pick it up by its hair, hold it at arm’s length, and cram it down the garbage disposal? The Child’s Play sequels picked up on this and shifted the focus to humor rather than horror, which made the premise much more acceptable.
The shaky premise: If you visit a particular website, you die.
Does it work? Nope. Despite its similarity to The Ring, which worked just fine, FearDotCom fails by focusing on blood ‘n’ guts rather than suspense and mystery. In the process, it demonstrates what we’ve been saying all along: It’s not the premise that matters so much as the execution.
* * * * *
Eric D. Snider (website) is also based on a faulty premise.
Tags: drag me to hell, shaky horror premises, the birds
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