The Ninja Turtles are way up this week. Yeah, they dominated the box office with a $25.4 million haul. But more importantly, my best friend's 5-year-old kid shouted to all who would listen that Turtles is his second-favorite show now (after SpongeBob). Me and the little cretin fought Ninja Turtle-style (he was Leonardo, I was Michelangelo) in the living room and I destroyed him. That kid will never doubt my nunchaku power again.

Tom Cruise's career rehabilitation took a major step forward this week with the announcement that he'll star in a World War II thriller for director Bryan Singer. The film, based on true events, focuses on a group of German generals who form a plan to assassinate Adolph Hitler. Usual Suspects scribe Christopher McQuarrie wrote the script with Nathan Alexander. Cruise has always made smart career choices, and hooking up with directors like Robert Redford (Lions for Lambs, currently in production) and Singer make it sound as if the image-fragile star is on the way to recovery. There is also the Hardy Men collaboration with Ben Stiller and Cruise's rumored involvement in Selling Time for director Spike Lee.

The media criticized Dina Lohan's parenting skills again this week, and Lindsay Lohan's mother responded with the following verbal beatdown: "I'm not a party mom!" I'm with her. Using your daughter's career to appear in fashion magazines wearing skimpy little dresses while they take photographs of you in seductive poses or in the back of limos drinking chilled champagne does not make you a party mom. Just an enabler.

Ladies and gents, comedian Sinbad is not -- I repeat -- not dead. The Jingle All The Way star's agent began receiving condolence calls and e-mails when reports started popping up on Wikipedia that he recently died of a heart attack. But no, the actor born David Adkins is alive and well according to the corrections made by www.Wikipedia.org. Wait a minute ....

I guess this should really be "Up" news (it's better being alive than, you know, dead), but if you have to come out and prove you still have blood pumping through your veins ... probably not a good sign.

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