You know all those people who say, "Oh, So-and-So just won a Golden Globe, he's a shoo-in for an Oscar nom," or, "Well, Bob, Depressing Art Film is simply too amoral to ever get a nod"? Don't listen to us. We don't know what the hell we're talking about.

Cuz look at this morning's Oscar nominations:

No Sacha Baron Cohen. Everyone -- including me -- got all worked up when he was not only nominated for but actually god-freakin'-damn won the Golden Globe for Best Actor (Musical or Comedy) for Borat. Maybe, we all hoped desperately, the Academy would actually recognize how hard comedy is, and how extraordinary Baron Cohen's performance -- staying in character constantly, for one thing -- actually is. But no love for Sacha this morning. *smacks head* Of course no love for Sacha this morning. Everyone knows the Academy simply does not get comedy.

Except ... look at all the love for Little Miss Sunshine. Granted, there's a lot of drama mixed in with the comedy, but it's the funny stuff that really sticks with you after this flick. Alan Arkin gets a nod for Best Supporting Actor, 10-year-old Abigail Breslin gets a nod for Best Supporting Actress, Michael Arndt gets recognized for Best Original Screenplay, and damn, there's even a nom for Best Picture. Of course, the only win it really has a shot at is the screenplay one, but still, maybe the Academy is coming around, not warmly embracing every miserable movie about people doing miserable things.

Except ... Little Children garnered more than one nomination: for Kate Winslet, as Best Actress; for Jackie Earle Haley, as Best Supporting Actor; for Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, for Best Adapted Screenplay. Now, I'm not saying that the craftsmanship behind the work here isn't worth applauding, but this is one gloomy movie: Kate plays a lousy, unfaithful mom, Jackie plays a child molester, and nobody ends up happy or gets the comeuppance coming to them in the end. So we're back where we started: the Academy hasn't really done anything surprising at all.

Omission that makes me the saddest: no notice for Michael Sheen in The Queen. I guess I'm the only one who loves him.

Weirdest nomination: Adapted Screenplay for Borat? Can a movie that is largely improvised be said to have a screenplay at all? Best Rough Draft of an Outline of What We Would Like the Finished Film to Kinda Look Like? Sure. But Adapated Screenplay? I don't get that at all.

Who'da Thunk It?: Who'da thunk we'd ever be talking about white-boy rapper Marky Mark Wahlberg at the Oscars? Cool!

And the Awards get distributed Sunday, February 25. Party at my house!

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