A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila became a surprise hit for MTV last fall, even though its format wasn't terribly different from any of the other "celebrity" dating shows that have sprung up in the last few years. The main selling point was that Tila, who had made herself famous for being famous on MySpace prior to landing A Shot at Love, was to be selecting her "true love" from a pool of both men and women.

Even by the standards of these shows, the "relationship" that arose out of the first season was ridiculously brief: Tila chose Bobby in mid-December and was announcing plans for a second season by New Year's Eve. One suspects she will have to pick a woman this time to keep up the pretense that she's actually bisexual -- picking Bobby was unpopular enough. Tonight's second season premiere (10 PM) introduces a cast not unlike what we saw the first time, with cartoonishly macho guys and lipstick lesbians competing to win the heart of the Web sex goddess. Or if they can't win it, at least rent it for a little longer than Bobby did.

According to Jim (ABC, 8 PM): Jim introduces a tribunal system to help the children settle their differences, but doesn't like it much when the tables are turned. The title of this episode is I Drink Your Milkshake. Guys, you're never going to be hip and you just look silly when you try.

American Idol (Fox, 8 PM): The "music of the night" is composed of the work of Andrew Lloyd Webber, who takes time out from dumping his leading ladies to instruct the final six.

Beauty and the Geek (CW, 8 PM): Reason #361 why the CW is third-rate at best: it keeps giving us these lame recap episodes of its reality shows, even when there's hardly anything to recap (this season just began on March 11). The highlight of the new footage is that one of the geeks gets a makeover.

Naked Earth (National Geographic, 8 PM): An examination of climate change, and whether it's really to blame for developments such as the apparent increase in the number of strong hurricanes.

NCIS (CBS, 8 PM): Shepard becomes the prime suspect when arms dealer La Grenouille is found dead. Does Lauren Holly have a contract negotiation underway I don't know about?

Spice Up My Kitchen (HGTV, 8:30 PM): What do you do when your otherwise gorgeous home has a really ugly kitchen? As a bachelor, my advice would be to just eat out, but this show has other ideas.

Big Brother 9 (CBS, 9 PM): Someone is getting evicted tonight as the pace picks up near the end -- or picks up as much as is possible given that it's not the most exciting final four we could ask for. Sadly, the days of naked carousing in that house are long gone.

Dancing With the Stars (ABC, 9 PM): Some Irish Riverdancers help fill out the results hour along with Ashlee Simpson, who has been known to dance a jig on TV herself. Tonight will be a major test of fan base strength for Marlee Matlin, who, on merits, is the most vulnerable dancer left.

Deadliest Catch (Discovery, 9 PM): A captain's illness affects life on one ship; a repair is needed aboard another ship; the Northwestern's captain is angry about a bad count.

Hell's Kitchen (Fox, 9 PM): There's a prize awaiting the team that can make the most pasta; someone winds up in the hospital. Did Ramsay finally say the wrong thing to a contestant holding a large knife?

Last Restaurant Standing (BBC America, 9 PM): The elimination challenge involves holding a singles night, leaving the teams with the task of recruiting the unattached to their restaurants.

Real Housewives of New York City (Bravo, 9 PM): The reunion show. This is the one aspect of the Bravo reality formula that needs massive revamping, because none of these shows ever work. Invariable host Andy Cohen is a big part of the reason why. After tonight, we have New Jersey housewives to look forward to. Hey, 47 states to go.

Reaper (CW, 9 PM): Josie agrees to go out with Ted, much to Sock's surprise and dismay; Steve and Tony want Sam to lay a trap for the Devil.

The Universe (History, 9 PM): This episode teaches us that gravity is important, and considering that without it I'd be typing this from the vicinity of one of the moons of Saturn, I have to agree.

Boston Legal (ABC, 10 PM): Alan goes to the Supreme Court to argue an appeal involving the rights of a mentally challenged man sentenced to die for statutory rape (in Massachusetts?). Also, Lorraine learns something interesting about Jerry's girlfriend.

College Hill: Atlanta (BET, 10 PM): The gang begins their work for Ludacris's foundation, but someone is already missing appointments. That's why you don't hire off reality shows. Ask the Real World folks, it never works.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC, 10 PM): Benson is dating a journalist, and that never works well. The case of the week involves a murdered investment specialist, who turns out to have a surprising link to a pro football player.

Secret Lives of Women WE, 10 PM): Examining the lives of four female bodybuilders. Watch or die.

The Alaska Experiment (Discovery, 10 PM): With all the shows filming up there these days, the state might earn itself an extra member of Congress. This program follows four groups of people who are dropped into the bush and have to live off the land. I've often thought Survivor should shoot a season in Alaska (it would be doable with their summer shooting schedule); maybe its producers will look at this show as a dry run.

The Bad Girls Club (Oxygen, 10 PM): Andrea's boyfriend visits and makes himself unpopular; the ladies fight over a MySpace diary that is left out in the open.

The Riches (FX, 10 PM): Wayne is concerned about Dale and the other Travelers getting too mixed up in his plans, and has to deal with a wounded Dahlia. Also, Nina throws a party for Jim at the Rich house.

Truth Behind the Sitcom Scandals (Biography, 10 PM): The secret lives of Welcome Back, Kotter, Roseanne, and The Facts of Life. If it turns out Mrs. Kotter was having an affair with Horshack, I'll never live it down.

Work Out (Bravo, 10 PM): Jackie takes her female trainers on a lesbian cruise, but not everyone is in a relaxation mood as the boss continues to throw her weight around.

Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love (Oxygen, 10:30 PM): Pure sitcom here: Pilar wants to prove to her husband that her work around the house has real value; Deion has to have "The Talk" with one of his sons.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E, 10:30 PM): The clan sits down to watch Shannon's home movies, which she has been compiling for over 20 years.

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