Whenever you're frustrated with a particularly witless episode of scripted television, stop and count your blessings: think of how much worse it could have been had the strike gone on just a little longer. In that case, presentations like tonight's Secret Talents of the Stars (CBS, 10 PM) could have become something approaching the network norm.

The seven-episode series is exactly what it says it is (though one might quibble with referring to some of these people as "stars"): celebrities taking part in activities outside their typical field, with viewers voting on who is the best, or the least terrible. This same thing occurs on Dancing With the Stars, and I suppose that's the model for what CBS is trying to do here. And in fact, this series has a connection to one of the original fish-out-of-water celebrity shows, the old ABC series Superstars, which put jocks from across the athletic spectrum in a decathlon-like competition (the same format that was eventually copied for Battle of the Network Stars). Joe Frazier, then at his peak as a boxer, went swimming on Superstars and promptly sank to the bottom of the pool. Tonight, you can see the ex-champ sing R&B, hopefully on dry land. Others with secret talents include a few who I hadn't realized had any talents whatsoever, like Hef hanger-on Bridget Marquardt and former adulteress Marla Maples.

American Idol (Fox, 8 PM): Simon Cowell is going to have to be extra careful to rein in the sarcasm this week, because tonight is "Songs of Inspirational Day," or as David Archuleta calls it, Tuesday. This is the lead-in to tomorrow's "Idol Gives Back" self-congratulation-a-thon.

Beauty and the Geek (CW, 8 PM): The geeks show off their makeovers; Joshua Morrow and Michelle Stafford of The Young and the Restless judge the duos on their acting ability.

Designed to Sell (HGTV, 8 PM): The team knocks down a basement wall and installs a gourmet kitchen and dining room.

Just For Laughs (ABC, 8 PM and 8:30 PM): This hidden camera show airs its final two episodes of the season tonight. It came in awfully handy during the strike, but it's a space filler and nothing more.

NCIS (CBS, 8 PM): While on a stakeout to catch a major equipment thief, the NCIS crew witnesses a murder; Ducky tries to keep a secret from his colleagues.

The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8 PM): They finally got rid of one of the brothers. Now, with the finale nearing, Mark, Ali, Roger, and Kelly train on their own; also, the suddenly everywhere Rocco DiSpirito gives some advice on how to eat old favorites in a healthy way.

Big Brother 9 CBS, 9 PM): Adam surprised everybody with his nominations; now, to see if Sheila and Sharon can stay nominated.

Dancing With the Stars (ABC, 9 PM): Sheryl Crow, not especially known for her dance music, will perform prior to someone else (this guy, one would think) getting the boot. The scores seem high early on this year, and I don't think it's lenient grading -- the dancers really do seem to be the best group they've ever had.

Hell's Kitchen (Fox, 9 PM): Would-be chefs are asked to accurately fillet a halibut; the teams pick one member to serve as maitre d' while the others stay in the kitchen.

Last Restaurant Standing (BBC America, 9 PM): The elimination challenge calls on three teams to prepare microwaveable meals and pitch them to local stores.

The Universe (History, 9 PM): A look at some of the craziest weather in the universe, featuring 6,000 mph winds and rain made out of iron. So that means they're going to New Jersey?

Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern (Travel, 10 PM): Chile combines a very long coastline with mountains, and Zimmern samples the cuisine of both regions, including barnacles and bull testicles. Gee, shame about my diet.

Boston Legal (ABC, 10 PM): Alan and Jerry sue a tabloid show when a woman is murdered after turning down a marriage proposal on the air; Denny wonders if Shirley has an interest in him.

College Hill: Atlanta (BET, 10 PM): The gang decides to break camp after hearing gunshots (maybe they've seen Deliverance), but then opts to go white water rafting (OK, maybe not).

Deliver Me (Discovery Health, 10 PM): A 22-year-old woman has been using birth control but is now pregnant for the third time; a nurse finds that her baby is not growing on schedule.

Real Housewives of New York City (Bravo, 10 PM): Ramona gets angry when one of the wives violates the sanctity of "Girls Night Out"; LuAnn's son believes mom isn't spending enough time at home.

The Bad Girls Club (Oxygen, 10 PM): Cordelia vents after getting drunk and reveals emotional baggage; there's a negative reaction to Andrea's blogging. Imagine anyone objecting to a blog!

The Greatest Silence: Rape in the Congo (HBO, 10 PM): This Sundance Film Festival award winner from director Lisa Jackson chronicles the use of rape as a weapon during the long civil war.

The Riches (FX, 10 PM): The investors' meeting provides another new surprise for Wayne to deal with; Dahlia gets increasingly nervous; Di Di makes a new friend.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E, 10:30 PM): Simmons decides to turn a business trip to Sea World into a family vacation, but a case of food poisoning leaves him in charge of twin toddlers.

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