Oh. My. God.

I've been begging for Nikki and Paolo to meet their maker, but even I didn't see THAT coming.

Last night's episode of Lost ("Exposé") presented yet another contrary view of their first 84 or so days on the island, this time from the perspective of cannon fodder Nikki and Paolo, who have -- as promised by Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse -- become iconic figures on the island, even in, er, repose.

I was thrilled to see yet another fantastic episode in a row (three and counting), especially one that hearkened back to the tone of Season One while also presenting us with something unique and challenging: the island's first murder mystery, presented in a style that reminded me of The Twilight Zone or (dare I say it?) Edgar Allen Poe.

We also got some swift answers on what the hell has been going on with Nikki and Paolo (finally!), which finally made sense of their role on the island. Here's the precis: Yes, they were on Oceanic Flight 815. No, they weren't working for the Others (though Paolo did snag one of their walkies). Yes, Paolo had been to The Pearl before, which is why he knew where the bathroom was. Yes, that's why Paolo didn't want them to join the A-Team on their expedition to The Pearl, where he had concealed a set of matryoshka ... which happened to contain $8 million in diamonds stolen from an Australian producer's safe right after Nikki and Paolo poisoned him. (And if there was ever a perfect metaphor for Lost, it's the matryoshka.)

Bad girl Nikki wasn't a stripper (as the opening seconds of the episode would have you believe), but a guest-starring actress on a cheesy third-rate syndicated show called Exposé (the same show that Locke happened to be watching in a flashback last week); she cozied up to the producer while Paolo, his Brazilian chef, poisoned him. Naughty, naughty.

This week also featured appearances from some of the island's dearly departed: Leslie Arzt, Ethan Rom, and poor Shannon and Boone. Of the latter, Nikki and Paolo run into them at the airport and Nikki says how much she hopes they don't end up like them. I'm still not sure whether she meant a constantly bickering, feuding couple or dead. Either way, they ended up exactly like Boone and Shannon: at each other's throats and then buried up at Boone Hill. And in the episode's best Poe-worthy twist: they weren't even dead when Sawyer and Hurley buried them. Mwahahaha.

Was it just me or were the effects and the integration of Nikki and Paolo into the pilot's plane crash on the beach and subsequent moments just effing stunning? It blew my mind to see the two of them in one of the most memorable scenes in TV history, and as they crossed paths with some of the series' most iconic locations: the Pearl Station, the yellow plane, the lake where the gun case was discovered.

In Nikki and Paolo, the show's producers created two people that we all hated and then revealed that it was perfectly all right to hate them after all: they were truly despicable human beings who were totally self-absorbed and loathsome. Paolo discovered an underground hatch, found the script bag containing the diamonds under the waterfall and didn't tell his partner in crime, instead concealing the diamonds first on himself and then in the toilet's septic tank in the Pearl. He overheard Ben and Juliet spying on Jack and the Losties as they detailed their plans to kidnap Jack and forcing him to perform surgery on Ben (through coercion and the taking of Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley to boot). At no time did Paolo (or Nikki) tell anyone about what they saw. No, Paolo grabbed a walkie left behind by Juliet and Ben and hid it, grabbed the matryoshka when they returned to the Pearl, and remained a liar to the bitter end.

When Nikki discovers Paolo's treachery, she poisons him with a Medusa spider, causing an 8-hour-long paralysis. But she didn't exactly listen to Artz: releasing the Medusa causes a flood of powerful pheromones which call out to the male spiders. Leading Nikki to become bitten herself as she buries the diamonds (stored in Paolo's undies) and rushes to the beach, where she collapses in front of Hurley and Sawyer, uttering, "paralyzed." (They mistake it for "Paolo lies.") The others investigate the two "murders" and end up burying them with the diamonds ... just as Nikki creepily, gruesomely opens her eyes. Brilliant.

Glad that they finally wrapped up that dangling plotline from Season Two that had Hoodie Charlie attempt to "kidnap" Sun at Sawyer's command; Charlie confesses to Sun as to what happened and our girl decks Sawyer at the first opportunity. You go, girl. She even tells our fave con man that she won't tell Jin or they will be digging another grave ....

All in all, another awesome episode and one that finally gave us some answers while eliminating two of the most abhorred characters in Lost history. Ah, Nikki and Paolo: you died as you lived, suffocating one another in a series of lies and betrayals. Say hi to Ethan on the other side for us.

Next week on Lost ("Left Behind"): it's an estrogen-fueled episode, as Kate and Juliet are forced to fend for their lives when tossed into the jungle and left to die, but naturally they end up fighting rather than working together when Juliet tells Kate why Jack told her not to come back for him; meanwhile, Hurley convinces Sawyer to apologize for his actions or be banished from the group.

* * *

Jace is an LA-based television development and acquisitions junior exec who watches way too much television for his own good and would love a TiVo for every room in the house. (He’s halfway there.) His blog, Televisionary, can be found at televisionary.blogspot.com.

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