Once again, it's a weekend battle of head-to-head stars. In this corner, we have one half of the most talked about celebrity couple of the decade, Angelina Jolie starring as second banana in this weekend's rated-R comic-book adaptation, Wanted. And in this corner we have the single most adorable, electronic gadget this side of Johnny 5, Pixar's Wall-E. You know the rules. Let's drop the cage. Two men enter! One man leaves!

In the box office this weekend: Winner = Wall-E
This one is a no-brainer. Pixar films dominate. Period. And with only one other rated-PG family film out there to compete, the field is wide open for Wall-E to trounce the competition. I don't care how much hype Wanted has. It's bloody, brutal and rated R. This is what we call counterprogramming. Unfortunately for Jolie, Wall-E draws from a large portion of the geek/nerd audience that they were hoping for to pad the numbers for Wanted.

In the critical arena: Winner = Wall-E
Let's, for a second, ignore the fact that Jolie is given very little to do here except glower and look pensive. And let's ignore for a moment that she's being directed by someone for whom English is a second language. Wanted is a fun summer blockbuster that will be praised by some for its fast and loose play with the laws of physics and CG techniques and reviled by others for being a derivative mess. Wall-E is a film so good it defies even Pixar's own standards for excellence. It will blow the minds of people everywhere for just how wildly original and beautifully done it is. It is not just the best of the summer films, it is a film that will be on top 10 lists of virtually every critic by the end of the year. It will win the Best Animated Movie Oscar award and there will no doubt be countless other accolades heaped upon it. Nothing this summer quite compares to it.

In their careers: Winner = Joli-E
Wall-E is gonna sell a lot of toys. Hell, rumor has it that the moment the first trailer came out, demand for Wall-E action figures and remote-control robots skyrocketed at toy and Disney stores, to a level yet unseen for an unreleased film. Kids already love him and they've barely seen him. But Jolie? The woman is a force of freaking nature. There's an old rule in Hollywood that after three bad films you lose your seat at the table. Jolie has made five. The reigning queen of big-budget awful cinema, she's spent the better part of the last three years making up for her string of early decade awfulness by making solid effort after solid effort. All while turning her finely sculpted body into a well-publicized baby machine. She is unstoppable and is about five years away from achieving legendary status.

In a fight: Winner = Joli-E
And not because Wall-E is cute, cuddly and easily frightened, but because Jolie scares the living s**t out of me.

Winner = Wall-E
This weekend everything about this summer changes. This film will be talked about well into the fall and all through Oscar season.

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