New Watchmen Trailer
The trailer that's being screened before Quantum of Solace hit the internet, and it looks great. We've seen a lot of the action and explosions before, but the Rorshach voiceover hits the heroes-against-the-world theme dead on. "The world will look up and shout, 'Save us.' And I'll whisper, 'No.' " So cool. The music doesn't seem to be getting any better, though.
Verdict: Will they just put this movie out already? I can't handle the stress.

Wait 'Til the Mayor of High School Musical, PA Hears About This
The mayor of a town in southeastern Turkey called Batman is threatening to sue Warner Brothers and Christopher Nolan for using the town's name without permission. Um, Mister Mayor, have you ever heard of a little movie called Chicago?
Verdict: Worst. Lawsuit. Ever.

Well, It Certainly Does Suck
What could possibly be funnier than a vampire comedy? Filling the cast with rock stars! Moby, Henry Rollins, Alice Cooper, and Iggy Pop will all be appearing in the upcoming movie titled, of course, Suck. You can pretty much just fill in your own joke here. Feel free to make a Love at First Bite reference.
Verdict: At least the name sounds appropriate.

Brett Ratner to Direct Conan; Internet Explodes
The Hollywood Reporter says that the questionable director behind X-Men 3 and the increasingly terrible Rush Hour series is about to sign on to direct the remake of the eighties Schwarzenegger cult classic (h/t Rope of Silicon). He's also working on Beverly Hills Cop 4. What a talent!
Verdict: The fanboys have never forgiven Ratner for X-Men 3, and this one is very likely to stink.

A Greatest American Hero Movie? Please, No
Stephen J. Cannell tells the LA Times that he's in talks to bring his eighties superhero spoof, about an unlikely hero with a super-powered suit (and a giant afro), to the big screen. Honestly, this is hardly a surprise -- Hollywood seems determined to remake every single television show, and then move on to the old radio serials -- but this is one that would be just fine left back in the eighties.
Verdict: "Believe it or not, I'm walking straight out. Of any theater that plays this cra-a-aaap."

Guillermo del Toro's ... Pinnochio?
Along with The Hobbit, Frankenstein, Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and Slaughterhouse Five, del Toro's at work creepying up the classic children's story. Seriously, some time off might be good.
Verdict: Just what the children of the world need, a talking puppet movie made by the guy behind Pan's Labyrinth. No one under eight will ever sleep again.

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