The Return of Buffy -- Except Not Like You Think
The director of the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie discovered the script by then-unknown Joss Whedon and turned it into a flop five years before the TV show. Now, she says she's bringing Buffy back, because she still owns the rights -- without Whedon, without Sarah Michelle Gellar, and without any of the characters that made the series a hit.
Verdict: Yeah, this is going to work out great. Let's hope they can get the original stars, who, for those who don't remember, were Kristy "Mannequin Two" Swanson and Luke "Dylan from 90210" Perry. That sound you hear is the Internet exploding.

Ben Stiller and His Talking Einstein Bobbleheads Take Out the Terminator
The family comedy Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian beat out McG's Christian Bale reboot of the Terminator franchise, taking in $70 million over the long weekend to Terminator Salvation's $52 million. Take that back to the future, John Connor! Or the past, or whatever ... things are getting kind of messed up over there.
Verdict: This was something of a surprise, but I think the hero/sci-fi/action crowds are a little winded. From X-Men Origins: Wolverine to Star Trek to T4, it's been a busy month. (The reviews have been pretty lackluster, too -- but not much worse than Wolvie's.)

Tom Cruise Heads Back to Comedy
After winning over the haters with his hilarious turn as Hollywood agent Les Grossman, Cruise is going back to comedy -- but don't expect another Tropic Thunder. He'll be appearing in Wichita opposite Cameron Diaz in what's being billed an "action comedy" about a secret agent going after a single woman.
Verdict: Ah, romantic action. This sounds like it could end up being another Fun With Dick and Jane or Mr. & Mrs. Smith. And that's not a compliment.

Next up, a Lemonheads Miniseries and Nerds: The Biopic
This week's WTF adaptation comes from the good people at Topps, who told The Hollywood Reporter that they've lined up a rookie screenwriter to bring the BUBBLE GUM AD to the big screen. Really. A cartoon kid with an eye patch invented to hock pink gum, whose idea of comedy is "Your homework is like a steak: rarely done!"
Verdict: It never ends.

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