Each week we here at Film.com work tirelessly to bring you the best of Twitter, the cream of the crop, the funniest and brightest of the week. It all starts on Friday afternoon as I begin to shift through the many celebrity tweets, and day by day I read through them all, until next Friday rolls around and I can share the best of the week.

One of the better things to happen this week was Ashton Kutcher's CNN prank. By now it's sort of general Twitter-lore that Ashton Kutcher was the first Twitterer to make it to a million followers. One of his promises was that if he did make it to a million first, that he would ding-dong ditch media magnate Ted Turner's house. This week he orchestrated the unfurling of a banner over the logo of CNN's Atlanta location with his Twitter user name on it, since Ted Turner's house proved to be inaccessible. Kutcher is shooting a film in the area, and his wife Demi Moore happened to be on hand as well. It turned out to be a pretty good prank, with excellent follow-through on the part of Kutcher. Feel free to watch it here if you're so inclined.

Now let's get to the tweets. We know stars are busy people, but this week was exceptionally busy.

Hold the phone! Singer Jessica Simpson appears to be performing, or at the very least holding court at a SeaWorld location, somewhere in the world:

Jessica Simpson: Going on stage now. Get ready for greatnes Shamu (May 9, 5:18 p.m.)

Singer John Mayer is delighted by the tabloids and Internet rumors.

John Mayer: If you put the two most popular rumors about me together, you get a gay womanizer. I love this. (May 9, 6:38 p.m.)

Singer Jewel finds herself flying solo at dinner while husband Ty Murray participates in Dancing with the Stars:

jeweljk: Sitting at the table with jennifer lopez and her husband- wish ty was here- he's dancing tonight til 9! (May 9, 7:22 p.m.)

Singer Mariah Carey seems to get a late start on her day, showing herself to be mostly nocturnal:

mariahcarey: Getting ready for the studio. Thinkin about what to write tonite. How's eveybody feeling today..? This nail girl screwed up my nails BAD. (May 9, 7:51 p.m.)

Actress Demi Moore was pleased to attend the White House Correspondents' Dinner:

mrskutcher: Just leaving the Correspondant's dinner The President was on fire tonight! CNN were excellent hosts!! http://twitpic.com/4w9cb (May 9, 7:56 p.m.)

Rocker Pete Wentz takes small enjoyment in pointing out the obvious:

petewentz: photoshop is like invsalign for pictures on the internet. you cant really see it but everyone knows its there. (May 11, 1:34 p.m.)

Actor Ashton Kutcher keeps it entertaining with visions of grandeur:

Ashton Kutcher: I want to meet the guy who invented the orange cone. He probably hangs out with the guy who invented vinyl siding. (May 11, 2:08 p.m.)

Nicole Richie makes a desperate plea to the gods of pollen and animal dander:

nicolerichie: Dear Allergies, feel free to take a day off from my eyes. I swear, I won't be mad (May 11, 4:46 p.m.)

Stephen Colbert, host of The Colbert Report, is also a purveyor of strange tweets and other delights:

Stephen Colbert: wonder what wine the american association of wine economists would pair with pedigree healthy coat formula? (May 11, 8:34 p.m.)

Director David Lynch mostly uses Twitter to broadcast daily weather reports from Los Angeles, but once in a while he goes more in depth:

David Lynch: Thought of the Day: Iceland is a GREAT country. (May 12, 11:19 a.m.)

Singer and songwriter Taylor Swift finds a helpful reminder in a strange and unfamiliar place:

Taylor Swift: The car just arrived to take us to the airport. Taped to the seat in front of me is a sign: "Taylor, don't forget your retainer. Dad"..Nice. (May 13, 3:32 p.m.)

The Office's Mindy Kaling not only has a new show in development, she's also feeling the all-too-familiar sting of Twitter rejection:

Mindy Kaling: im web-chatting with James Fallon tomorrow. I call him James bc he doesnt follow me on Twitter and i want him to sense a little coldness. (May 13, 4:22 p.m.)

Not only Paula Abdul tweets from the set, but American Idol's Ryan Seacrest keeps us informed as to various Idol details during the show, and shares this little tidbit:

Ryan Seacrest: one minute after idol tonight they break down the set put it on trucks and take it down to the nokia theater to start putting together (May 13, 4:12 p.m.)

I once saw actor Matthew Perry at a restaurant in L.A. and he was staring blankly into space. I now wonder if he was thinking about Lost, as he appears to now be echoing the sentiments of the Internet in general:

Matthew Perry: Lost lost lost!....what shall we all do for the next 9 months? (May 13, 10:29 p.m.)

Tweet of the Week:

Singer Katy Perry appeared on American Idol this week singing her new single, but before that, she considered the path of those who came before:

Katy Perry: Purple rain is to prince as who's that girl is to madonna as glitter is to mariah. When do I get to make mine? (May 12, 12:07 a.m.)

That's it for this week. As always, feel free to follow me here.

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