Could there be a worse time to debut a new season of excessive materialism that is Bravo's Real Housewives franchise?

Apparently, The Real Housewives of Atlanta didn't get the memo about the economy, or else they're single-handedly trying to revive it. In this week's premiere, Sheree throws herself a lavish birthday party complete with designer cake shaped like a Louis Vuitton handbag; NeNe hires a makeup artist and hairstylist to come to her house and help ready her for a night out; and Kim buys a brand-new Cadillac Escalade without bothering to negotiate the sticker price.

I mean, seriously, who's even buying SUVs anymore? Tacky. Speaking of, Kim later meets her stylist at a Shell gas station en route to a party so he can deliver her party dress. She changes in the parking lot. How very Britney!

The new Housewives seem to be doing their best to outdo their counterparts in Orange County and New York City, or at the very least, just copy their storylines. Sheree and NeNe have an ongoing frienemy feud to rival Jill and Ramona from The Real Housewives of New York City. Kim's mysterious sugar daddy -- she calls him "Big Papa" -- keeps her in diamonds and leather, not unlike Lauri's generous new husband on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Businesswoman Lisa is as hyper as Orange County's Vicki, while DeShawn's queen of the household recalls Countess LuAnn of NYC.

As always, The Real Housewives prove that money can't buy class, and Bravo proves that when it comes to reality TV franchises, less is not more.

Speaking of classless:

The Girls Next Door
Holly, Bridget and Kendra make chocolate molds of their body parts to present to Hef on his 82nd birthday. Unfortunately, Pamela Anderson trumps them all by showing up to the party naked to deliver the birthday cake. Apparently, Pam has yet to learn her lesson about being naked around cameras. (10 p.m. Sundays, E!)

Kimora Lee: Life In The Fab Lane
Kimora plans an elaborate 8th birthday party for daughter Ming Lee, which includes an indoor pool turned into a tropical rainforest, a performance by The Clique Girlz, gift bags and designer birthday cake. In related news, MTV has already signed up Ming Lee to star on an episode of My Super Sweet 16 in 2016. (10:30 p.m. Sundays, E!)

Paris Hilton's My New BFF
The 18 contestants who ostensibly want to be Paris Hilton's best friend (read: want to be famous) move into the BFF Mansion in Beverly Hills, only to find out that their luggage has been "lost." Kayley: "I don't even have underwear on, OK?" And we have a winner! (10 p.m. Tuesdays, MTV)

The Rachel Zoe Project
Rachel goes bananas at a vintage shop, buying couture gowns by Valentino, Missoni and Givenchy. Brad: "I'm the kind of person that, if you go shopping with me, I will absolutely co-sign anything. I mean, if you want to buy a Birkin bag and you haven't paid your rent, I will totally sign the receipt." This reminds me: I need an assistant named Brad. (10 p.m. Tuesdays, Bravo)

Project Runway
Kenley continues her quest to be the most-hated Project Runway designer since season one's Wendy Pepper. When the judges criticize her Botanical Gardens-inspired gown, she insists she "wanted to stay away from pretty" and "wasn't going for elegance, Heidi." The only reason I keep watching this show is to see if someone sews Kenley's mouth shut in the finale. Everybody wins! (9 p.m. Wednesdays, Bravo)

America's Next Top Model
The girls recreate famous L.A.-based disasters by posing on miniature movie sets as destructive giants, which, honestly, is the fastest way to give a girl an eating disorder. (8 p.m. Wednesdays, The CW)

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