When Survivor began almost a decade ago, it spawned a catchphrase that would become a part of pop-culture vernacular: "The tribe has spoken." And to be fair, it was a pretty good elimination line, considering the premise of the show.

Since that time, however, scores of competition-style reality shows have booted people off with lines that were lame, that beat around the bush, or that were just straight-up boring. Sure, most of these phrases are probably designed to leave the rejects with some dignity, but let's face it: how much dignity do you really have if you sign up for shows like these?

The worst we've heard in a while -- from VH1's Glam God -- was our inspiration for this story. So here are our picks for the shows with the worst elimination lines, and our suggestions for replacements.

Glam God
Show premise: Twelve stylists compete for the title of Glam God.
Exit line: "Continue to reach for the stars, but you won't be styling them."
Proposed phrase: "Mr. Blackwell would be appalled."

The Pick-Up Artist
The premise: A bunch of doofuses are coached on how to seduce women by a giant tool named Mystery.
Exit line: "Game over."
Proposed phrase: "See you on Match.com."

Project Runway
The premise: Fashion designers compete for a cash prize and a chance to show a collection at Fashion Week.
Exit line: "You're out."
Proposed phrase(s): "You're out -- like a banana clip." Or, "You're out -- like stirrup pants."

America's Next Top Model
The premise: Tall, young, skinny lovelies vie for a modeling contract and magazine spread.
Exit line: "You are no longer in the running to become America's Next Top Model."
Proposed phrase: "Girl, you broke the camera! Now please, go eat a sandwich."

From G's to Gents
The premise: MTV and Fonzworth Bentley try to transform thugs into gentlemen; the winner is granted membership in the Gentlemen's Club.
Exit line: "Your membership has been denied."
Proposed phrase: "You've just been pimp-slapped."

The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
The premise: A contest to get hired by the domestic diva.
Exit line: "You just don't fit in."
Proposed catchphrase: "You've singed your souffle."

I Want To Work For Diddy
The premise: A contest to become Diddy's personal assistant.
Exit line: "You're not ready to work for Diddy."
Proposed phrase: "You've been snuffed by Puff."

Miss Rap Supreme
The premise: Obscure female rappers try to become the best femcee.
Exit line: "It's time for you to step off."
Proposed phrase: "Ahhh, push it! Push it out the door!"

Beauty and the Geek
The premise: Dumb, attractive women and male nerdlingers live together in a mansion and pair up for competitions.
Exit line: "I have to ask you to leave the mansion."
Proposed phrase: "Nobody watches this show, so your 15 minutes of pretend fame are up."

Rock of Love
The premise: Skanks of all flavors compete to be Bret Michaels' girlfriend, and follow him on tours to state fairs and high school proms.
Exit line: "Your tour ends here."
Proposed phrase: "You'll never see what's underneath this bandanna."

Shear Genius
The premise: Hair stylists enter a hair-cutting contest.
Exit line: "This was your final cut."
Proposed phrase: "We'd rather have a permed mullet."

I Want to Be a Hilton
The premise: Featuring Kathy Hilton, this show follows several young women as they compete for a job and high-society lifestyle.
Exit line: "You're not on the list."
Proposed phrase: "You have too few animals and too many panties to be a Hilton."

I Love Money
Show premise: Former contestants from Rock of Love and Flavor of Love compete in various challenges to win $250,000.
Exit line: "Your check has been voided."
Proposed phrase: "Get a real job."

Recommend (0)

|  Comments (0)

|  Email

|  Share

Share  Facebook Digg del.icio.us