Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response in which a hostage begins to sympathize with their captor. Between you and me, I've never been much of a believer in this, that is, until tonight when I sat down and was held captive by one Michael Benjamin Bay. After tonight, he's officially my boy and I care not what other atrocities he has put me through.

Transformers is not a great movie. The script is too clunky and there's too many Bayisms at hand. I don't need a Transformers movie to be quiet (in fact, the movie would be doing something very wrong if it were). But why does everyone in Bay's films have to shout every ... single ... punch line? Why must everyone do irreparable damage to their larynx to get their point across? Pixar specializes in cartoons, so why is it I always care more about their characters than the real people in Bay's films?

These are important questions. And yet, Transformers is the biggest, baddest summer offering and you'd have to be a complete Scrooge not to enjoy it even a little. Sometimes when you take in a movie, you have to get a little dirty. Entertainment isn't always perfect; it can be about letting go. Now you don't want to go play in a garbage pile. You'll muss up your clothes, smell for days and you'll never be able to completely forgive yourself for it. But mud is another thing entirely. It will get you dirty, but it's more fun to roll around in. Mud carries with it more childlike nostalgia and Transformers is grade-A mud.

The story goes like this: alien robots invade earth and can transform into things like cars, tanks, jets and vending machines. They come from the planet Cybertron. Some robots are good. Some robots are bad. Robot war ensues on earth.

Get the picture?

There are two major elements that really make this movie work. First off, Shia LaBeouf. He knows how to handle bad dialogue. He sells it and sells it well. The recent Fantastic Four movie is graced with a terrific special effect and character in the Silver Surfer. Everything involving the Surfer is great popcorn fun and holds within it the one thing the franchise is otherwise devoid of: promise. The problem is the rest of the movie is filled to the brim with bad acting and bad dialogue with bad line delivery. My point is that you can forgive a lot of faults in a movie if your lead is engaging enough as Shia is here.

But the real reason this movie is going to end up as the summer's highest grosser is the metal-to-metal action Bay has engineered. My theater was full of Transformers geeks and Optimus Prime's reveal and initial transformation received a thunderous applause. Well earned. This is action and entertainment brought to another level, the way Jurassic Park or Matrix did. This isn't quite as good a film as either of them, but it hardly matters when you're enjoying the mass quantities of destruction on display.

Now I know this is a totally rebellious statement to make but... I'm not a Michael Bay fan. I know, I know. I'm the one guy. However, when it was announced he was directing this movie, I thought, "Perfect!" Finally, a project that is in complete harmony with Bay's sensibilities. He likes to make stuff go boom. Few people do make stuff go boom better than this guy. And now he barely has to pretend he cares about the human element. Human schmuman, let me see Optimus Prime do that kung fu stance again!

There are certain sections of fandom that will have issues with some of the liberties taken here. But in my mind the filmmakers stayed true to what they needed to stay true to. There's the Autobots and the Decepticons. Megatron still likes to put down Starscream. Optimus Prime is still as noble a hero as there is (and still voiced by the original cartoon's Peter Cullen). All things considered I'd guess that most of the Transformers fanatics will be pleased.

The only other negative thing I can say about this movie is that a part of me still wishes it was directed by a Spielberg or James Cameron. But what we have here is a terrific summer blockbuster where the sequel cannot be green lit fast enough. Just do me a huge favor, Dreamworks and Paramount, no Dinobots.

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Dre writes three times a week for Film.com. E-mail him!

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