Before I discuss this week's episode of Top Chef, I wanted to share a bit about myself (if you'll humor me, that is). I'm a screenwriter, or at least I hope to be. In fact, I just signed with a pretty impressive agent, and I've got my fingers crossed she's about to work wonders for me. The idea of one day making my own movies is what gets me out of bed every day, and it's important that you know that considering some points I'm about to make.

I've spent the last ten years of my life striving to become the best at what I do, studying every form of cinema, every genre and subgenre -- domestic, foreign, independent -- even studying literary fiction and the fundamentals of comic-book archetypal structure to help lend some freshness to my screenwriter's "voice." Why then do professional chefs, or at least the ones producers call professionals and cast to compete on Top Chef, not take their so-called dreams as seriously too?

That's exactly what we learned about this season's cheftestants this week: after many of them flopped in past weeks because they don't understand the fundamentals of their craft, it seemed just about every one of them were unprepared to demonstrate classical techniques while preparing dishes last night as well. In fact, they openly complained about being called out on their ignorance. Zoi summed it up simply while discussing her prospects in the Quickfire Challenge judged by technique-fanatic, Chef Daniel Boulud: "It makes me nervous, because I'm not classically trained." Not classically trained? What is she trained to do, since this is the same girl who couldn't make a soufflé in her very first challenge? The worst part is, most every other cheftestant seems to share her ignorance.

Getting back to my nascent screenwriting career, I wouldn't know how else to pursue my craft other than with the life-consuming dedication that I put into it. I watch two movies a day. I have a job that allows me to talk about movies. I interview filmmakers every week. I take all of this, and pour it into my screenplays. These chefs? They seem to think nobody cares about silly things like the basics. That would be like a doctor knowing how to treat your cancer, but not knowing how to set your broken bone or even take blood. Their staggering indifference to the nuts and bolts of their craft should be insulting to every man and woman who've ever pursued a career in the kitchen and actually did the work to get there.

Anyway, after Dale won the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants broke into teams of two to create dishes inspired by their favorite movies, a challenge that definitely piqued my interest given what I just shared with you. But Zoi, who gets the award for this week's biggest whiner, helped bring focus to another glaring problem. Sure, we all salivate at the dishes many of these cheftestants make, but only a few of them actually have the talent to revolutionize the kitchen in any way. Or, as Zoi puts it: faux caviar and wasabi mixed with white chocolate. If that's what it takes to impress the judges, she's screwed.

Seriously, what did she and a lot of her so-called peers think they were getting into when they applied to Top Chef? Maybe she'd rather make a killer grilled cheese for everyone? Sigh.

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