Maisy Fernandez,
Mar 11, 2009
So, we're totally sick of The Bachelor's Jason Mesnick and his love triangle of indecision. But it is, perhaps, the most interesting thing to ever happen in the history of the show ... which got us thinking about other reality show happenings that are etched in our memory for all eternity.
We present our Top 10 Unforgettable Reality Show Moments:
10. Vicki gets crushed in the noggin with a football
If you've ever watched The Real Housewives of Orange County, then you probably think Vicki is totally annoying. Between her incessant "woo-hoos!" the micro-management of her grown children and her obsession with her laptop -- even when she's out with friends -- it's hard to not want to smack her. So this past season, when she was on a boat with friends and was accidentally smashed in the head with a heavy, water-soaked football, we chuckled a little. OK, a lot.
9. Santino channels Tim Gunn
Part of the fun of watching Project Runway is seeing the designers chat/bicker/clown around in the work room. But former contestant Santino Rice's dead-on impersonation of mentor Tim Gunn was classic. Santino perfected Tim's speech patterns, enunciation and voice. Highlights: "Where's Andrae?" and his Tim Gunn rendition of Nine Inch Nails' "Closer to God."
8. Ruthie goes to rehab
Today, there are reality shows based on people seeking recovery for their addictions. But usually, watching people get ridiculously drunk on TV has been par for the course. So when housemates on The Real World: Hawaii sent roommate Ruthie to rehab in 1999 after a string of crazy incidents (she had passed out in bars, performed table dances for her boss' wife, required the help of paramedics, etc.), it was a big deal. Probably even a first.
7. Tyra's meltdown
Tyra Banks is known for many things: Looking great in underwear, being a decent entrepreneur and acting goofy to the point of extreme embarrassment. So to see Tyra become completely enraged at an ungrateful, contrary contestant on season four of America's Next Top Model was unforgettable. We've seen less screeching after a Maury Povich paternity test gone bad.
6. Omarosa vs. Janice Dickinson
Well, what else besides war is going to happen when you put two egomaniacal, mega-bitch celebrities in the same house? Omarosa: "I feel sorry for her children." Janice: "She looks like Rick James' Siamese twin." They called each other "crackheads" throughout The Surreal Life, and with their ongoing antics, you really didn't even need any other cast members.
5. Tanisha's wake-up call
After Tanisha's roommates kept her up all night on Bad Girls Club, she rose bright and early, went to the kitchen in her nightgown and got some big, thick baking pans. She paraded around to all the girls' rooms (where they were asleep with hangovers) and smashed the cooking tools together like cymbals. "Get the f*** up!! This is what's going to go on all motherf******* day! " Immature? Yes. Worth rewinding? Definitely.
4. Jessica Simpson, Chicken of the Sea
From Newlyweds: Jessica Simpson (to then-hubby Nick Lachey): "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says chicken. (pause) By the sea. Is that stupid?" (Nick just stares at her, then shakes his head.)
Nick: "You act like you've never had tuna before."
Jessica: "Why is it called chicken by the sea, or in the sea?"
Nick: "Chicken of the Sea is the brand."
Jessica: "Oh ... I read it wrong."
3. Tattooing tales -- a tie
Everyone knows that getting spontaneous tattoos after a few drinks is an excellent idea.
So tied for third place, we have: Heather from Rock of Love, who tattooed Bret Michaels' name on the back of her neck during a date. (He dumped her soon after, natch.)
And also, three morons from Tool Academy, who had the show's logo emblazoned on their bodies. The trio of fools ridiculed the one guy who didn't follow suit. His response: "I thought we were supposed to be progressing and not doing toolish things. I think a Tool Academy tattoo is definitely toolish." Agreed.
2. Mini Me gets naked and pees
After drinking more than an average-sized adult on The Surreal Life, an inebriated Verne Troyer climbed on to his scooter naked, and motored into the exercise room. He peed in the corner on the carpet, and you could totally hear the audio of the urine splashing up off the floor. At one point, in mid-stream, Troyer just stared blankly at the cameraman. Totally disturbing.
1. The legendary loogie
Many classy things went down on Flavor of Love, but perhaps the grossest occurrence was the spitball heard round the world. During an elimination round, skanky Pumkin hurled a big, thick loogie which landed on the face of fellow contestant New York. It gave me nightmares. There's no telling where that girl's mouth has been.
