Disney's outrageously profitable Pirates of the Caribbean series was conceived as a trilogy, but -- wait, that's not true. It was conceived as a one-off film meant to capitalize on the name recognition. ("Hey, there's a ride called Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland! And now there's a movie with that name! We should watch it!") Then, when the film proved to be highly lucrative, Disney ordered the screenwriters to stretch their already-paper-thin concept even tighter and fill two more movies with it. It was kind of like having a baby and then saying, "You know, I'd really rather have triplets."

And so a trilogy emerged. But just a trilogy! Three movies, and that's it. No more stories to tell. We mean it! Under no circumstances will there be a fourth movie! Unless, you know, the third one makes a lot of money....

You see, there's actually a law in Hollywood that says if a film makes more than $200 million at the domestic box office, a sequel shall be produced no more than three years later. No studio executive even has to greenlight it. As soon as the box office crosses $200 million, a sequel automatically springs into existence. Cast and crew start showing up on the studio lot, bidden by an unheard call of the wild, the way penguins instinctively return to the beaches where they hatched.

So a fourth Pirates movie is a certainty -- but Keira Knightley is saying she probably won't be in it. Cinematical reported last week that at the press junket for Atonement, someone asked her about it and she said this: "I can't imagine doing another one. That was an amazing experience, really was, totally extraordinary, but I think three for me is probably enough."

Disney executives probably panicked when they heard that, but only briefly. Then they realized two things:

1.) She will change her mind.

2.) Even if she doesn't, who cares?

If memory serves, Keira Knightley played one of the skeletons that Jack Sparrow finds in a cave somewhere, right? OK, the bosses are saying that's not true and I should delete it. Whatever. Apparently she played Elizabeth Swann, a she-pirate who was in love with Will Turner and/or Jack Sparrow. The third film (beware of SPOILERS!) ends with her and Will Turner getting married and deciding their marriage will work best if they only see each other once every 10 years. The end. No need to have her in the fourth film at all.

But would people pay to see a Pirates of the Caribbean without Keira Knightley?

Of course they would. Heck, I'd pay more!

The real question is whether people would watch a Pirates movie without Johnny Depp. That's a much riskier proposition, and it's hard to tell how Depp himself feels about doing a fourth film, since he's weird and artsy and lives in France. The point is, if you're really concerned that a Pirates film would suffer without Keira Knightley, then you must be watching them incorrectly. Go back and try again.

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Eric D. Snider (website) is pretty sure they don't need Orlando Bloom, either.

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