So I'm home for the holidays, and I'm hanging out with my Mom, whining to her about how it's a slow news day and there aren't any stories and I don't feel like writing, and she's like, "Why don't you do a piece about gratitude? Since it's Thanksgiving?" And I'm like, "Right, Mom. That's why people read my blog. For the gratitude."

But it's a really slow news day.

So here goes:

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS THANKSGIVING

1) Britney Spears' vagina
2) Those glorious years we had with Lindsay Lohan before she got sober
3) The fact that Britney Spears has no intention of getting sober anytime soon
4) Alcoholism in general
5) The Vanessa Anne Hudgens naked picture
6) My cats
7) Britney Spears' vagina
8 ) Burger King
9) Google Image Search
10) Britney Spears' vagina

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