Until today I was not unlike you. I too skipped around town, whistling a happy tune without the slightest care in the world. But today I learned a secret and it's been haunting me ever since. I can feel the shadow of knowledge lurking over my shoulder and I shudder. The world is a cold, dead place.

The problem is this: I finally caught up with Stardust and it should be a hit and it's $31 million dollar cume isn't cutting it. The movie, above all, is fun. It isn't perfect. It doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it does install a fresh set of tires. Stardust balances fantasy, adventure, romance and humor (both black and light) with admirable ease and it's easy to understand why director Matthew Vaughn bailed on the third X-Men film. This is the more ambitious and entertaining film. He doesn't always manage to dodge convention or cliche but he doesn't have to. You're having too much of a blast to care.

I'm not sure why this movie isn't doing better than it is and after racking my brain (for a full 44 seconds!) I figured out the problem. The movie is a tough sell, that we know. It isn't easily defined and therefore not easily sold. Most of my friends haven't even heard of it. But what happens once they hear what it's called? From the looks of their vacant expressions, I've pretty much lost them after I utter the title. Stardust is a kind of -- for lack of a better word -- girly name. You can't sell that title to your pals at the fantasy football draft. "Yo, Stardust ... it was off the hook!".

The point is it isn't the coolest sounding title in the world. If there were a Movie Title High School, My Little Pony In Pink Magic Land would pick on Stardust in gym class. I called up my little cousin who is a junior in high school and asked him if he'd heard of the movie. He had. I asked him if he would go see it. There was a pause, heavy breathing and then the phone went dead. This happened. I then began to think what would happen if he really did see the movie.

I put myself in his shoes and thought about how he'd face his friends in school:

Generic high school guy: "Hey man, what you do this weekend?"

Me, playing the role of my cousin: "Oh, uh ... I saw Stardust." (The words would escape my mouth before I'd have time to think of a lie. I feel the heat of my credibility bursting into flames moving down... down more...).

"Star what? ... "

"Stardust. It's like an adventure movie. With swords and magic and stuff. You know, like Lord of the Rings." (Hey, that was good!) "It's actually pretty bad ass."

"... "

(You're losing him!) "It has some action."

"... "

"Um, we still down for football?" (Please say "yes," I'm thinking. Please don't do this. I'm begging! I just fixed my acne!)

" ... I'll hit you up later, dude." Ouch.

"Oh, okay. Cool, right. Just hit me up whenever, all right?" (He will, he doesn't own the new Madden).

"... "

"Okay, man. Peace out!"

At least, that's how I imagine it.

It wouldn't surprise me if Stardust leaves my area by this weekend. It's already stuck in two-showtimes-a-day hell at the local Regal and it isn't even playing at the Muvico by my house. I think it's too late to rename this puppy so, guys, you're just going to have to man up, shove any ridiculous insecurities aside and let yourself enjoy this one while it's still around.

But enjoying it is the easy part. The hard part is going to be recommending it. You need to admit to people you saw a movie called Stardust, not to mention the fact that you liked it. A lot. Because trust me, you will. Peace out!

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Dre writes three times a week for Film.com. Email him!

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