"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." -- Winston Churchill

Years ago, St. Elsewhere earned the distinction of having possibly the worst series ending ever. Years of drama, tears, laughter and hope at St. Eligius hospital were chalked up to the imagination of an autistic boy with a snow globe. It was all in his head. Even Denzel Washington.

Now, The Sopranos is giving St. Elsewhere a run for its money. Critics and fans are polarized over whether Sunday's series finale was pure genius or a complete let-down.

After tying up a few loose ends, the show ends with Tony Soprano and family in a restaurant starting to munch on some onion rings. A few shady characters enter the diner and then... nothing. Cut to black. It's over. The television equivalent of Finnegan's Wake.

Personally, I think it was a cheap out. Say what you want about the existential nature of leaving us to wonder what happens next -- the cynic in me says producers just wanted to leave the door open for a reunion show or maybe even a feature film.

It's the perfect example of one of three distinct types of series enders:

1. Life Goes On
2. Life is Over
3. Life is but a Dream

In Life Goes On finales, most of the major characters are left alive. In some cases, they "graduate" to something bigger and better. Even if they don't, you are still left with hope for the future. The Friends finale is a great example. Monica and Chandler have their babies and move to the country, Ross and Rachel are finally together, Joey's headed for Hollywood, and Phoebe... well, I forget what happens to Phoebe. But the point is, while we're sad to see them go, it's a gentle sadness because we know they're all living "happily ever after."

M*A*S*H is another good example. The war's over and everyone's going home, but we know they've survived and will be okay. And wasn't it all worth it just to see that last kiss between Hawkeye and Hot Lips?

Or how about Magnum PI where Magnum gets his daughter, reenlists and we find out that Higgins is actually Robin Masters!

I think people tend to like the Life Goes On finales because it lets you decide what happens. While the Sopranos didn't us with any real sense of what's going to happen next, they're all alive. You can choose to believe they finish dinner and go home, or that they get whacked seconds after Journey stops singing. It's really up to you.

My next type of series ender is less popular. The Life is Over scenario. In this case, one or more of the main characters die and things are ending because they must.

Like Angel, for example -- one of my self-confessed favorite shows. By the last show, Cordelia, Wesley and Fred are dead, Gunn is bleeding out, and Angel and Spike are facing an army of advancing demons. I'd say the show's pretty much over. You couldn't revive this series even if you wanted to. There are no characters left.

Quantum Leap is one of the more talked-about Life is Over finales. In the end of this one, we learn in a single line that "Dr. Sam Beckett never returned home." Huh? Wasn't that the point of the entire show?!?!

A variation on the Life is Over ending is the Life is Over As We Know It ending. In this version, the characters don't die, but their unique situation comes to a close. Seinfeld, for example. No one's dead, but life as Jerry, George, Kramer & Elaine know it is pretty much finito. I love the ending scene, though -- with Jerry giving a comedy show in the joint.

Family Ties is another example. When Alex P. Keaton moves out, well... the rest of the family has to just pack it in.

While the Life is Over ending can be a little sad, if not downright depressing -- at least there's some resolution. You pretty much know what happens. And isn't closure a good thing?

If the Life is Over ending is unpopular, then the Life is but a Dream is probably the most hated of all TV show endings. The aforementioned St. Elsewhere being the most conspicuous example. I think people hate these endings because they make you feel like you just wasted your time. It was all just one big practical joke -- and you are the butt of it.

As far as I'm concerned, the Life is but a Dream ending has been done once successfully. Only once. The show was Newhart, where Bob Newhart played a Vermont innkeeper. In the final scene of the final episode, Bob wakes up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette, his wife from his previous show, and realizes that the entire series had just been a dream.

As for The Sopranos, fans will undoubtedly make up their own minds and be unswayed by any arguments. You either loved the finale or you hated it -- and there's probably no changing your mind.

Which doesn't surprise me. When a TV show goes off the air, it's kind of like an old friend leaving. Sometimes getting mad makes it a little easier to say goodbye.

Ethan Morris: "Not always right, but never in doubt." Go ahead and write me.

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