Who Should Host The Next Oscars?

Even though Jon Stewart killed it this year, we know the Academy is finicky about hosts. We're here to help with some suggestions for next year.
Host Jimmy Kimmel speaks during the 2007 American Music Awards held at the Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE on November 18, 2007 in Los Angeles, California
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 18: Host Jimmy Kimmel speaks during the 2007 American Music Awards held at the Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE on November 18, 2007 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images) - Getty Images
Dre Rivas

As soon as the Oscar season ends, another has already begun and it won't be long before the next host of the 2009 Oscars is announced. Personally, I thought Jon Stewart did a pretty good job. It was certainly one of the dullest shows in recent memory, but that had more to do with how the show was produced and that had a lot to do with the writers' strike I'm sure. When Stewart was on stage, though, he worked and his opener pretty much killed (who didn't love his jab at Norbit? "Too often the Academy ignores movies that aren't good"). But Oscar is a little slutty when it comes to its hosts. Slutty and finicky, so it wouldn't surprise me if Stewart isn't asked to return next year.

So who's next? Below are what I believe to be five solid candidates for the job. The only rule I gave myself is that none of the candidates could have hosted the Oscars already, so no Billy Crystal or Whoopi mentions. And the winners are ...

Jimmy Kimmel
We know he already has a good rapport with Matt Damon, not to mention Ben Affleck (I have no doubt we'll get an "I'm Sleeping With Oscar" dance number), and as an added bonus, Sarah Silverman can cameo at some point, ride shotgun and shock the entire room with an inappropriate comment concerning Angelina Jolie's adopted kids. It'd be a gas I tell ya.

Jeffrey Ross
Ross has become a legend from those celebrity roasts on Comedy Central. The only problem is he's dirty as hell and the broadcast would have to take place on a channel like Spike TV. But how great would it be if Ross just lambasted every presenter, nominee or Joe Schmoe in the room making it the most uncomfortable Oscars ever? Who wouldn't watch this? It would, of course, be a one-time gig but I don't think he'd be too upset about it in the end. It's not like he's getting calls from Hollywood producers these days anyway.

Danny Trejo
This would just be brilliant. I'd watch the Oscars just to see the tatted-up Trejo in a tux. Now that's comedy. How awkward would his opener be? Does he even know how to speak? Directors never give him more than three consecutive lines. And he isn't exactly known for his stand-up routine but I think his deadpan delivery and I've-been-behind-the-wall demeanor would mesh well with the Hollywood elite. I think the acceptance speeches would be shorter too, so the show wouldn't run eight thousand hours. I can just see the dude who wins Art Direction sweating bullets because he knows if he doesn't wrap it up, Trejo will beat him backstage. Look, if Trejo has somewhere to be after the show, I know I'm not the one who is going to make him late. Sid Gannis should seriously consider this option next year.

Dave Chappelle
Who doesn't love Dave Chappelle? The guy's got way too much free time on his hands these days. By my watch his mid-life crisis should have been over about thirteen hours ago and that's being generous. Come on, Dave come back to us!

Vince Vaughn
Vaughn is a contender for one of the funniest guys on the planet in the right setting. He needs to feel comfortable with the people around him and then he needs to give us the reactionary stuff. Let's get a little acid into the mix. Yes, Vince Vaughn entertainment wouldn't be complete without either Jon Favreau, Will Ferrell or Ben Stiller involved and Vaughn playing the straight man. In fact, the show would probably work better if Vaughn was just throwing the assists in various bits to these guys all night. He could be like the Steve Nash of the Oscars. Luke Wilson could even pop in to be, you know, Boris Diaw or something.

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Dre writes three times a week for Film.com. Email him!


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