It had to be done: all in one place, the very best bad dialogue of the year 2006. No ranking -- newer quotes are posted at the top. (Warning: May contain spoilers.)

"He ain't retarded, he's misunderstood."
--Sheriff Hoyt (R. Lee Ermey), on Leatherface, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning [my review]

"I think you'd rather fuck me than kill me. But you don't have the guts to do either."
--femme fatale, The Black Dahlia [my review]

"How about I make you my wee-yotch?"
--bad boy witch, The Covenant [my review]

"Harry Potter can kiss my ass!"
--not Draco Malfoy, The Covenant [my review]

"Our daughter is part of your worst harvest in years!"
--Edward (Nicolas Cage) to Willow, The Wicker Man [my review]

"I got the gun from work. It's part of a program for ex-cons."
--O2 (Tyrese Gibson), Waist Deep [my review]

"Where's your bathroom? I gotta shit."
--O2 (Tyrese Gibson), Waist Deep [my review]

"Why don't you nice boys let your cars do the talking? Winner gets me!"
--idiot girl, pimping herself, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift [my review]

"One car in exchange for knowing what a man is made of? That's a price I can live with."
--Han (Sung Kang), The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift [my review]

"I don't have to be psychic to see that something's bothering you."
--Xavier (Patrick Stewart), to Storm, X-Men: The Last Stand [my review]

"Magneto wants a war, we'll give him one."
--the President of the United States (Josef Sommer), X-Men: The Last Stand [my review]

"I have to get to a library -- fast!"
--Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks), The Da Vinci Code [my review]

"I can't imagine beginning the day without licking myself."
--Nigel the koala bear (the voice of Eddie Izzard), The Wild [my review]

"Do we not have the party hats of death?"
--Nigel the koala bear (the voice of Eddie Izzard), The Wild [my review]

"Top of the food chain, Ma!"
--Kazar the wildebeest (the voice of William Shatner), The Wild [my review]

"You know, that's the nightmare of shrinkdom: too many questions, too many answers, nobody gets laid."
--Catherine Tramell (Sharon Stone), Basic Instinct 2 [my review]

"Isn't it possible that you want me to be the killer? You know, how some guys are into blondes and some guys are into killers?"
--Catherine Tramell (Sharon Stone) to Dr. Michael Glass, Basic Instinct 2 [my review]

"I got the toughest mob in the world -- I'm the law."
--Detective Rydell (Chazz Palminteri), Running Scared [my review]

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
MaryAnn Johanson
author of The Totally Geeky Guide to The Princess Bride
minder of FlickFilosopher.com

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