The other day we were reading a story about The Other Boleyn Girl, and how Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman loved working together so much, and how it was just so much fun, and how they have so much love and respect for each other, and then we had to stop and THROW UP FOR A WHILE.

Every article about every film says the same thing. In this case, Johansson and Portman's co-star Eric Bana even said, "Why is it that people in the media hate the idea that actors working together is possibly true?" And we'll tell you why: Because it's what they always say, even when it obviously isn't true.

Go read the article for lots of sickening displays of giggly sisterhood from Portman and Johansson. See what we mean? All that happiness just makes you want to spread around some unhappiness.

Which is why we've compiled this list of rumors about what we heard REALLY happened on the set of The Other Boleyn Girl. It doesn't matter if we made them up. They make us happy anyway.

- Our sources tell us there was a huge catfight the first day of shooting when Portman accused Johansson of sleeping with Woody Allen. But it got really ugly when Johansson accused Portman of sleeping with Hayden Christensen.

- When 26-year-old Portman told an interviewer, "It was such a rare opportunity to work with an actress my age who I much admire," the 23-year-old Johansson fired back, "I ain't as old as you, you wrinkled old gecko!"

- Johansson liked to harass Portman on the set by calling her "Queen Amidala." Portman responded by saying, "I'd name you after one of your characters, except I can't remember any of them."

- One crew member speaking on the condition of anonymity told us that Johansson showed up to work the first day and announced, "OK, where's what's-her-name from 'The Piano'?" Informed that she was thinking of Anna Paquin, not Natalie Portman, Johansson replied, "You mean they're not the same person?" Portman's response was to punch Johansson in the face.

- Portman spread a rumor around the set that at the end of Lost in Translation, what Bill Murray whispers to Johansson is "You'd be a lot prettier if you'd shut up." After Johansson heard the gossip, she called Woody Allen on the phone and wept like a little girl. Then Woody Allen adopted her and married her.

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Eric D. Snider (website) has some great stories to tell about Helen Mirren and Nicolas Cage in National Treasure: Book of Secrets, too.

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