Poor Peter Jackson! He has the temerity to call out New Line over creative accounting -- Jackson says the studio has cheated him out of his rightful share of the $18 bazillion the Lord of the Rings trilogy earned -- and so now he's gotten the boot from any future New Line Tolkien productions, like the possible (and eagerly anticipated) adaptation of The Hobbit. From a letter Jackson sent to the fansite TheOneRing.net:

Several years ago, Mark Ordesky told us that New Line have rights to make not just The Hobbit but a second "LOTR prequel", covering the events leading up to those depicted in LOTR. Since then, we've always assumed that we would be asked to make The Hobbit and possibly this second film, back to back, as we did the original movies. We assumed that our lawsuit with the studio would come to a natural conclusion and we would then be free to discuss our ideas with the studio, get excited and jump on board. We've assumed that we would possibly get started on development and design next year, whilst filming The Lovely Bones. We even had a meeting planned with MGM executives to talk through our schedule.

However last week, Mark Ordesky called Ken and told him that New Line would no longer be requiring our services on the Hobbit and the LOTR 'prequel'. This was a courtesy call to let us know that the studio was now actively looking to hire another filmmaker for both projects.

Poor Peter ... but now the question becomes: Who will direct The Hobbit? I've got a few ideas:

Martin Scorsese: Bilbo Baggins (Leonard DiCaprio), who all his life wanted to be an adventurer, sets off on a quest with the wizard Gandalf (Harvey Keitel) to kick some goblin ass. With Ray Liotta as the young Gollum.

Richard Linklater: Bilbo Baggins (Ethan Hawke), drug dealer to the Shire, sets off on a quest with the wizard and totally all around groovy dude Gandalf (Woody Harrelson) to find some of those amazing mushrooms Pippin and Merry (Matthew McConaughey, in a hilarious dual performance!) are always talking about. Watch for the psychedelic elvish-party scene.

Sophia Coppola: Bilbo Baggins (Jason Schwartzman), ne'er-do-well gardener and lonely beer drinker, sets off on a quest with the wizard Gandalf (Bill Murray) to the realm of the dragon Smaug, where he discovers that even the dwarves hate him. Featured on the soundtrack: obscure neo-punk bands you've never heard of but will have to pretend you like.

Clint Eastwood: Bilbo Baggins (Ryan Phillippe), misunderstood adventurer beset by self-doubt and self-loathing, sets off on a quest with the wizard Gandalf (Eastwood, in his greatest performance yet) to restore the honor of the Shire, which has forgotten everything it ever stood for, the lousy bastards.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
MaryAnn Johanson
author of The Totally Geeky Guide to The Princess Bride
minder of FlickFilosopher.com

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