Warning: minor spoiler alert. This letter reveals a plot twist from Mr. Brooks. But if you haven't seen it by now, tough noogies!

To: Cook, Dane
From: Morris, Ethan (goaheadandwrite@gmail.com)
Cc: Film.com
Subject: The Romantic Comedy Trap

Dear Dane,

Hi, my name is Ethan and I'm a big fan. I love your work. Your stand-up comedy, your movies, all of it. You are SOOOO FUNNY!!! (Don't worry, I'm not going to go Annie Wilkes on your ass or anything! Ha ha.)

I had heard a lot about you, but never seen you before this summer. Then a friend played me a CD of one of your shows. Awesome dude! The "battling monkey heist" bit was freakin' hillarious. So was the "shoving ice cream in a kid's face" routine. And the couple fighting in the grocery store? OMG, I could not stop laughing!!!

Then I saw you in Mr. Brooks, and even though it was a pretty dark movie, I still thought you did a great job. Even when you got your head cut off with a shovel.

And even though everyone told me it sucked, I rented Employee of the Month. But you know what? I actually liked it. I thought you were really funny. First-rate. Andy Dick was good too. I kinda thought Jessica Simpson had a few too many lines (she's better seen than heard) but I guess when her old man is one of the producers, that's what you get.

Anyway, I know Good Luck Chuck is coming out in September. The trailer looks pretty funny. You play a dentist who all the girls want to sleep with because you're a good luck charm. Then you fall in love with Jessica Alba. Man, I'd sure love to be in a movie with her. (What's with all the co-stars named Jessica?)

Now I hear you're going to start filming a movie with Kate Hudson. Another comedy called Bachelor No. 2. That's why I'm writing. Frankly Dane, I'm getting a little worried. I'm scared you might be falling into the romantic comedy trap.

Some call it HughGrant-itis. Or MegRyan-ella. In some circles it's known as SandraBullockia. (Ha ha, I crack myself up!)

Seriously, though, what's the deal? Why so many romantic comedies? Employee of the Month was a fine vehicle for your first starring role, but now it looks like you're getting typecast. I sure hope that doesn't happen.

Your comedy is so cutting edge. It borders on the offensive, but doesn't go too far. Profane-laced, but not too raunchy. You're the perfect mix of observational humor combined with the depraved things we're all thinking, but would never say out loud. You're like the bastard child of Jerry Seinfeld and Sam Kinison.

But if you keep making these romantic comedies, pretty soon, that's ALL you'll be able to do. Now that might be okay for someone like David Spade, or Rob Schneider. But not you, man. Do you really want to go down in the history of filmdom as the male equivalent of Drew Barrymore? No, I didn't think so.

It is possible to reach a balance. Just look at Will Ferrell. Or Ben Stiller. Or Adam Sandler. They all make sappy romantic comedies, but shine equally in more dramatic roles in movies such as Stranger Than Fiction, The Royal Tenenbaums or Punch-Drunk Love. I think you have the potential to be just as good as any of them.

Well, I think I've made my point. Enough said. Go ahead and make Bachelor No. 2. That's cool. And I'll definitely go see Good Luck Chuck. But just be sure to give us a Mr. Brooks every now and then.

Yours Truly,
Ethan

P.S. If you don't stop making these romantic comedies, maybe I will go Annie Wilkes on your ass. (JK, ha ha!)

Ethan Morris: "Not always right, but never in doubt." Go ahead and write me.

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