Congratulations, America! We spent a record-breaking $4 billion at the box office this summer, officially making it the "Best Summer Ever," at least as far as Hollywood studio executives are concerned.

As far as audiences are concerned, it was not the Best Summer Ever. It was the Most Recent Summer, sure. Summer 2007 was definitely more recent than, say, summer 2004. And summer 2002? Forget about it! Not even close to Most Recent.

No sir, we've definitely just finished the Most Recent Summer. And the Summer Where We Spent the Most Money. And the Summer with Too Many Threequels, and the Summer Where Too Many News Outlets Used the Made-Up Word "Threequels."

But "Best Summer Ever?" Meh.

Look at the top grossers since May 4, when the season officially began: Spider-Man 3 ($336 million). Shrek the Third ($321 million). Transformers ($310 million). Pirates of the Caribbean: The Third Pirates Movie ($308 million). We've never had four $300 million films in one YEAR, let alone all in one summer, and Harry Potter 5 is about to become the fifth.

So a lot of people saw those movies. But did anyone love them?

I'll give you Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. A lot of people had genuine affection for it. Likewise, Transformers has somehow attracted a legion of fans, despite being -- how to put this diplomatically? -- complete crap.

But Shrek? Pirates? Meh and meh again. They were fine. Good, even. But Best Summer Ever material? No way.

All anyone said about Spider-Man 3 was that it was disappointing. All the critics, as well as all your friends, told you was it wasn't very good. And yet ... you paid to see it anyway, didn't you? You li'l knuckleheads!

Here is my completely opinionated list of the best movies of the summer, along with what they made at the box office.* I'm only counting wide release films here (more than 1,000 theaters), no art house snob films or movies where they don't speak English.

In a perfect world, the best movies would also be the top moneymakers. It usually doesn't happen that way, but a guy can dream can't he?

A-
Knocked Up ($148), Ratatouille ($200), Hairspray ($108), Superbad ($75)

B+
28 Weeks Later ($28), Shrek the Third ($321), 1408 ($71), Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix ($284), The Simpsons Movie ($174), The Bourne Ultimatum ($188), Stardust ($27)

B
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End ($308), Mr. Brooks ($28), Bug ($7), Ocean's Thirteen ($117), Nancy Drew ($26), A Mighty Heart ($9), Live Free or Die Hard ($133), Hot Rod ($14), Resurrecting the Champ ($2), Mr Bean's Holiday ($12)

B-
Spider-Man 3 ($336), The Ex ($3), Surf's Up ($59), Evan Almighty ($99)

C+
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer ($132), I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry ($115)

C
Gracie ($3), Transformers ($309), No Reservations ($39), Rush Hour 3 ($111), The Invasion ($12), Balls of Fury ($2), The Last Legion ($5)

C-
Lucky You ($5), Hostel Part II ($17)

D+
Georgia Rule ($19), Underdog ($38), War ($12)

D
I Know Who Killed Me ($7)

D-
Captivity ($2), Who's Your Caddy? ($5)

F
Delta Farce ($8), License to Wed ($43), Bratz ($9), Daddy Day Camp ($11)

*Figures are in millions of dollars and are as of Aug. 31.

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