The Evil Beet,  Aug 07, 2007

The MTV Video Music Awards are fast approaching, and the nominees have been released.

The best group category proves once again how tragically out-of-touch with the under-24 culture I am becoming. I guess I recognize most of these names, but, with the exception of Fall Out Boy, I can't name a single one of their songs. I just want to curl up in my room and listen to August and Everything After. Is that so wrong? Is it? Anyway, the nominees are:

Fall Out Boy
Gym Class Heroes
Linkin Park
Maroon 5
The White Stripes

The best new artist category confuses me, because most of these people aren't new artists. I mean, Carrie Underwood won American Idol in 1994, right? Amy Winehouse had an album go platinum in the U.K. in 2003. How exactly are we defining "new" in this context? And can someone please tell me what song Gym Class Heroes and Peter Bjorn & John gets played on the radio? I even Googled them and I couldn't figure it out.

Lily Allen
Gym Class Heroes
Peter Bjorn & John
Carrie Underwood
Amy Winehouse

The best female artist nominees don't matter, because Rihanna's going to win and Beyonce's going to be sooo pissed about it.

Beyonce
Fergie
Nelly Furtado
Rihanna
Amy Winehouse

And I don't know any of the songs by anyone in the best male artist category, either, except for JT. Oh, Akon does "Smack That," which, if I recall correctly, was already awarded Song of the Year by Ms. magazine, so I don't know that it really needs this accolade as well. Let someone else have a chance. The noms:

Akon
Robin Thicke
T.I.
Justin Timberlake
Kanye West

The VMAs will air on September 9th on MTV.

The Evil Beet
Celebrity gossip with an evil twist.