I remember the first chapter book I shared with my oldest daughter. It will remain in my memory forever because it was such a thrill to discuss literature with her for the first time, in an ongoing and intelligent way. Similarly, it has been a delight, as she has grown, to share films of an increasingly mature and complex variety. It is sometimes difficult to find or make the time for these cinematic forays, but occasionally an opportunity presents itself, and when it does we seize upon it.

The first "grown up" movie we watched together was Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. (Previous article here.) She had been asking to see it for several years -- she loved looking at the video box in our collection -- with a persistence that, when it wasn't annoying, was rather exciting. Finally, upon reaching the ripe old age of nine, we granted her wish. Before we began, my husband and I explained a bit about the story -- that it was about train robbers and cowboys and friendship and love. We also warned her that the ending would likely break her heart. For Mr. Wonderful and me it was an opportunity to watch, with a new perspective, something we have both seen many times before. For her, it was a glimpse into life's inconsistencies, contradictions and possibilities. She loved the humor, hated the ending, and still quotes it occasionally and to great effect ("You just keep thinkin' Butch, that's what you're good at."). She agrees that she wouldn't have appreciated it as much when she was younger and that it was absolutely worth the wait.

Another film we all agree was worth the wait is Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. This film always reminds me of my husband's and my first apartment together as a married couple in San Francisco. The apartment this same daughter was brought home to when she was born. Without even trying, we and all of our neighbors were aware of each other's habits and lives. She has been destined to see this film since before we first met her, was 10 when we shared it, and loved it from beginning to end. It was such fun to experience with her the power of suggestion, and to squirm together on the couch, terrified, when Thorwald (Raymond Burr) catches Lisa (the luminous Grace Kelly) in his apartment. She has since become a self-described fan of suspense, and now requests Hitchcock films regularly. She has also introduced several friends to the wonders of Hitchcock and Rear Window, and has watched it at least three times. She is not ready for Psycho, but has seen The Man Who Knew Too Much which, although it starts rather slowly, she appreciated that the set up was necessary for the rest of the film to make sense. She is learning that satisfaction is worth waiting for.

Finally, a film I was uncertain about allowing her to watch (but my husband, in all his wisdom, assured me would be fine) is the 2005 Johnny Cash biopic, Walk the Line. I need to remember to listen to my husband; he is so smart (after all, he married me!). I was raised on Johnny Cash's music, and have countless memories set to the soundtrack of his songs, so when the film became available on DVD my family gave it to me as a birthday gift. (I had already seen it in the theatre with my father -- his birthday gift from me -- who introduced me to the Man in Black.) This film is -- like the persona of the Man in Black -- dark, full of anger, disappointment and drug abuse. But it is also full of talent, hope and love. Our daughter, 10 at the time she watched it, loved this movie. It scared her, made her sad, and lifted her up again. Personally, I can't think of a better tool for drug abuse prevention, except maybe the 2004 Ray Charles biopic Ray, which she has not yet seen.

Parenting has been the single greatest adventure of my life. It is alternately thrilling, frustrating, scary, joyous, delightful and exhausting, among other things. It is never dull. Most exciting, I think, are the opportunities for discovery. And discovery is not exclusively childrens' domain. Sometimes, in fact, I find myself wondering who is teaching whom. Sharing these films with our daughter has given my husband and I the opportunity to discover them again, as if for the first time. It has also given us an opportunity to demonstrate, in a way we all appreciate, that she is growing up, and that instead of growing away from us, we are really growing closer.

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Sue Harvey

Sue "Mom on Film" Harvey is a mother of three who shares her passion for film with bi-weekly, family-friendly movie recommendations.
Read more of Sue's pieces here.

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