Because of the difference in age between our oldest and youngest children, finding a movie that everyone enjoys and understands can sometimes be challenging. Our almost-11-year-old requests the PG-13 movies that "everyone else" gets to watch. Our almost-5-year-old wants to see whatever his older sisters are watching or, alternatively, anything non-fiction. Between them is a 9-year-old who is willing to go either way. Ah, the blessed middle child! As a result of this age spread, our youngest watched Pirates of the Caribbean (which is, by the way, rated PG-13) when he was 3 because we didn't allow the girls to see it until they were 8 and 9. Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?

In my quest for acceptable, cinematic middle ground, I have made several unexpected discoveries. These discoveries seem to have been made at the expense of my son, whom I was trying to protect and nurture and, instead, might have scarred for life. Allow me to explain. Our son is a real animal lover. Trips to the zoo, books about animals, shows about animals (he is the child who loves the previously reviewed Kratt Bros. Be the Creature videos), all of this fascinates him. So, I sometimes look for animal movies that might appeal to our entire family. This is a strategy I am beginning to think might not be one of my best ideas.

Last winter I rented the G-rated documentary film March of the Penguins for a family movie night. We all looked forward to seeing it, as every review had been positive. And the reviewers were right on. The film is beautifully shot, compelling, and Morgan Freeman's voice (so warm and deep) is a perfect contrast to the mind-numbing cold of the setting. We were all totally engrossed. Then the leopard seals appeared. They appeared, and ate a penguin. That was all it took. For the next five minutes our son was inconsolable. He wept, or, more accurately, sobbed, and raged at the seals with a ferocity that was so heartfelt and sincere that I was, frankly, stupefied. Even after he stopped crying, he remained disturbed, occasionally muttering about the "bad seals," "mean seals" and the "poor wittle penguin." I was almost relieved that he had seal anger to distract him, because I don’t think he could have handled the realization that those baby penguins lying on the snow later in the movie were not asleep, they were dead.

Last weekend I tried again. For several weeks my husband had been suggesting I rent Free Willy (rated PG) for the kids. (I suspect that in truth he actually wanted to watch it himself, but couldn't come right out and admit it. But that is a different story.) We only made it through the opening credits on this one before the tears and yelling at the screen commenced. The problem this time was that "bad fishermen" trapped a wild Orca in nets and took it away from its family and natural home. I was glad and not at all surprised that our son recognized this behavior as reprehensible, but it led to an evening punctuated by frequent outbursts of moral outrage. The rest of us were delighted to see Willy the whale escape his heartless captors at the end of the movie, and not just because it made for a happy ending but because we all felt certain it would lead to unmitigated joy in our little guy. Unfortunately, the whale's liberation led to more tears. A free Willy meant the loss of a best friend for the picture's human lead, and that left our boy bereft. Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I should fess up to the fact that he was especially tired that night, which might account for some of his reaction. But even so, I was surprised. Almost as surprised as at his request, immediately following the movie's end, to watch it again the next day.

Sometimes I feel that there is just no winning, not to mention no knowing, when it comes to my children. The little boy who, at age three, laughed his way through the carnage of un-dead pirates is the same one left undone by the natural order of life in Antarctica and the vagaries of human/animal interaction. My mother often remarks that people are complicated, and every day I have occasion to recognize the truth of her words. I suppose sometimes I simply forget that my children are their own people and are at least as complicated as their parents.

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Sue Harvey

Sue "Mom on Film" Harvey is a mother of three who shares her passion for film with bi-weekly, family-friendly movie recommendations.

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