It's an icy cold Monday afternoon in January in Kensington, London, and we're very grateful to arrive at the warm and cosy Blake's Hotel in Roland Gardens. But there is a feeling of trepidation at meeting a Hollywood legend and former hell-raising star. Tinseltown nearly gave up on Mickey Rourke. Thankfully, some like The Wrestler director, Darren Aronofsky, did not. They still see that raw talent that brought this battle-worn actor to our attention in the 1980s. Rourke plays retired professional wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson, as he makes his way through the independent circuit, trying to get back in the game for one final showdown with his former rival. The parallels with Rourke's life are startling.

Dressed in wacky trousers, silver trainers, inside-out cardie and beany hat, Rourke sits on a sofa with his faithful dog, Logie (dressed in very own little sweatshirt), by his side. The star is minus his trademark shades that lie on the coffee table, but he merrily puffs away on a Marlborough ciggie, whilst sipping coffee. Tanned and relaxed, Rourke is not as intimidating as first thought - far from it, actually. He's almost comfortable now with his lot, emanating friendly warmth and possessing a wicked gleam in his eye. But our sit-down became a brutally honest and frank affair for the star. Rourke has nothing more to hide, but still a lot more to confront:

The Wrestler was going to go to some dark places: Did you have reservations about making it, and did you learn anything new about yourself?

MR: The reservations were meeting Darren, working for no money, being flat-broke (literally), taking several months to get in shape and put on the 30 pounds of muscle, and to learn how to wrestle. A lot of the material I wanted to change and make personal. I wanted to change the dialogues with the daughter (played by Evan Rachel Wood), and Darren and I worked together to rewrite the scenes with the daughter; the speech at the end; and the steroid affirmation. It was important to me to put that in there and not hide it.

Meeting Darren, he's so smart - smarter than the rest of us, I'm looking at this guy and thinking he's going to want his pound of flesh from me, and to tap into some very emotional and painful places for me. I wasn't so much worried about the physical side, the putting on the weight. It was the emotional journey… I wanted to rewrite the steroid affirmation as you don't get that size by eating bologna sandwiches, and I thought it was important to introduce that and not make it such a taboo. Let me bring my knowledge of this world (to the film)…

Was it like therapy for you to be able to write that speech?

MR: The only thing that was therapeutic was the fact that, yes, the character's very close to myself. I, Mickey Rourke, through God's help, or something, was able to find a few good men to help me change, especially a therapist I've worked with for the last 13 years. Randy 'The Ram' doesn't have that accessibility, so I was able to look at him and think, "F**k, 'I'm glad I'm not him"…

When I got done with the movie, I wrote to (Bruce) Springsteen because I thought we'd done something special with the movie - that I'd made the hardest movie I've ever made, the best movie. I had no qualms about writing Bruce a letter. And we couldn't afford his music. Bruce knew my trip and what happened because we've known each other 20 years, and I lost touch with him for 13 years… I see now what I did and I wasn't aware of how destructive I was. Through the hard work of change, I was able to get out of the darkness, you know? Randy is not going to get out of the darkness, that's why Bruce wrote us a great song called 'The Wrestler', and if you just listen to the words, it just sums up the core of the character. I listened to it 200 times, and I go, "Man". He (Bruce) didn’t even watch the movie. He read the script and wrote it (the song) - and he knows me… So the only thing gratifying is me going, "I'm so thankful I'm not Randy"…

Me having a career in the 80s then losing it for 13-14 years… Yeah, I took time off to go boxing because I wanted to, but then there was another eight years where I couldn't get a job. And if you live in L.A. or New York, it's better to have never been, than to have been a 'has-been'. I know. You'd be standing in line at midnight trying to buy a pack of cigarettes at a 7/11, and some dude saying to you, "Hey, do I know you? Didn't you used to be in the movies"? "YES! Just give me the f***ing cigarettes and let me get out of here"! L.A. is a town based on envy and you are reminded of it very minute. There were places where I couldn’t pay for a meal in a fancy place… I remember telling some guy, "What's the matter? I haven't had a hit movie in years, I can't get a f***ing table"? That's the way it is. But, then again, I'm the one who short-circuited, scared everybody, and made bad choices. I put myself there - nobody else did. I understand, now, that there are rules and that there are repercussions with who you roll with and what comes out of your mouth. It's a business and it's political. And I'm ok with that now.

So much has been written about your journey. In your mind, was it just making bad choices, or being awkward on set?

MR: No, as I've said it before, I had some issues from growing up that made me unaccountable… (Deep sigh) that made me irrational and destructive. Until I worked on those issues and realised what they were, it was more about having shame and abandonment issues and trying to be a 'hard man'. But it's easier to be a hard man than feel small.

You, personally, came through the darkness, unlike Randy. But did you find it hard to shake off Randy at times when you were off set, or after filming?

MR: He was with me all the time because my knees were carrying the extra 26 pounds (laughs). My knees weren’t used to carrying that weight. I lived on a three-storey walk-up, so going 16-17 hours on the set, then after work having my trainer push me up the stairs, or having to get off the couch and having someone actually helping me. I had three MRIs (scams) in the first two months. You have blokes pick you up and then throw you down, it's like something is going to shake, rattle and roll. I had no realisation because wrestling is entertainment that these guys hurt severely as they do. We had the premiere in L.A. and a dozen of them came. They came walking in like this [Rourke does a slow-mo, Hulk-style impression] and they were a great group of guys. I had a renewed respect for a profession that I had no knowledge of, or respect for before…

…especially coming form the boxing world…

MR: Yeah, especially coming from the boxing world. I was proud of that, and now I'm going to become a wrestler? I want to work with Darren Aronofsky, but I don't know about a wrestling movie - maybe a love story of a science fiction story…

How different is wrestling to boxing in terms of the training?

MR: Ping-pong and rugby (laughs)! But you still have to be fit and you're going to get hurt. It comes with the territory. You do a flip off the top rope, or you get slammed, 40-60 per cent of the time it's going to go right or wrong, and you're going to be hurting at the end of the day. I dreaded wrestling practice. DREADED it! We had it choreographed pretty basically. One of the boys was very gymnastically inclined, and one day, just out of boredom, he did this thing where we pushed off, jumped over and did a scissors on another guys, and tucked and rolled him. I go, "I want to do that"! I was able to have the basics of it, then we took it to another level because I started to get into it and I wanted to be the best goddamn wrestler right now on the planet. 'The Rock's (Dwayne Johnson) uncle was one of the wild Samoans off of Hanoi and he was my coach. He was just great with me. We had the premiere, and all the old school guys came like Rick Flare, Brutus Beefcake, Rowdy Piper etc. Rowdy Piper was in tears after the movie, and I go, "Ok, we did our job"…

Did you really cut your head? Why did you do that?

MR: Darren asked me to (Rourke smiles). But then at the last minute he said you don't have to. The thought of it, at first, p***ed me off because of the fact that he said you're going to 'gig' (cut) in the movie. It's called 'gigging'. I was thinking, I'm not getting paid, seven months of training, and he wants me to cut myself, too? I remember the scene… because I have injuries from the boxing it's very hard for me to do intricate things with my hands. I had this little piece of razorblade on my wrists, and it took me some time (to cut myself). It was ok, but he (Darren) gave me the option.

Randy finds it hard to cope with being alone, and you've been alone for quite some time now. You've said you can actually cope with it and you've got Logie…

MR: It was very hard for me to be alone and to not have any respect as an actor, or a wife, or friends that you know… But after about eight years, I became more accustomed to being alone. It almost became a way of life and that's probably with me now forever…

But times right now are pretty good, professionally, for Mickey Rourke…

MR: But when you're on the bench for 15 years and something like this (the film) is going on right now, you go, "What's going on"? It's not like I'm jumping up and down - I'm more grateful and thankful. I'm thankful that I put in the time to make the change. I said to my shrink three years ago, "Was I crazy?" and he nodded slowly! I said to him that he wasn't supposed to say that (laughs). People come into your life up here, and I ended up with someone really good. I say 'the man upstairs' helps those help themselves. You have to do the work - nobody's going to give it to you. Nobody could have fixed the broken pieces expect me.

When did you come to that realisation?

MR: In the last three or four years. The change was ok because I wasn't any less of a man because I wasn't so hard anymore, being so unaccountable, so short fused and this macho honour and pride crap that you grow up with. That was just hiding something else.

Bearing in mind that Hollywood kind of 'kicked you in the teeth'…

MR: … Yeah. But I'm the one who threw the first punch. I realise that now. I don't look at it like that anymore. I'm the one who picked the fight and I lost.

How does it feel now with all these awards and being nominated?

MR: It's a happy, happy feeling. But so many years went by: I lost so many years, so many years that could have been special years… Like I've just finished a movie (13) with Jason Statham, Ray Winstone and Sam Riley… and the best thing I can say is that I brought that same work ethic to this next movie that I had on The Wrestler. And that's the way I'm going to keep the rest of my career is that I'm just going to bring it and be the best I can be. 24/7, I'm going to be on time. I'm going to be the best f***ing actor in the world. And if the other guy's really great, then we're going to have a really great f***ing time! I'm going to go there and be professional, be accountable and have the director and the producer glad that they hired me for the job.

So, maybe things happen for a reason?

MR: Yeah. My goal was I wanted this young director (Aronofsky) to be really happy he hired me for the job. It's not just Darren, one thing I was never good with - even as a young fighter - is being consistent. Everyone wants to fight, but doing the roadwork is another thing, getting up at 5am in the morning… But bringing that kind of work ethic to each film is, for me, very important because I can't mail it in. I lost too many years to mail it in. They said I could be the next 'this, that or the other', but I'm still f***ing breathing. It was like Randy's speech at the end of the movie - that just rolled off my tongue.

One writer speculated that you went into the boxing to almost get your face bashed in, to change…

MR: That's just a bunch of writer's bulls**t. I went back to the boxing because I felt I was self-destructing as an actor and as a person. I needed some breathing time to see what I was made out of. And (the boxing) was something as a young amateur I was very good at… I had a couple of concussions and I gave up. It was something I quit on because I didn't know what the outcome would be. I also felt the shame of walking away from it and never turning pro. And I had to give it a go, you know, even if it was ten years too late. I was 32 and I had twelve fights - won ten of then and drew two - and a great trainer in Freddie Roach. At the end of the day, it was something I really loved and I got to fight all over Europe and the Mid-West. You want to know pressure? That's pressure…

You once called acting 'women's work'…

MR: I regret that now… I think it's a very honourable profession. You are as good as the material and the director you have to work with… I probably said that (comment) when I took a job to pay the bills on a mortgage in Beverly Hills, so sure, I have a lot of regrets and I regret saying that. I wish I never said it but I had my head up my a**e.

You talk about purging shame… and keeping the 'little man' down inside you with two hatchets… Does he threaten to come up?

MR: It's like if something happens in the papers tomorrow, or repercussions from lawyers, I've got to go, "That could hurt my chances of my goal". This is my goal. I used to talk to my doctor and say, "We want to be in the game". I used to say, "Where am I now?" and he would say, "You're outside the stadium buying a ticket". After three or four years I'd say, "Where am I now"? He'd say, "You're in the stands but you're not playing". Then another four years would pass and he'd say, "You're on the bench". I'd ask when I could get in the game, and he'd say, "Soon…" It was like that: looking for daylight in darkness…

With the interview over, we then wished Mickey a very 'Happy New Year' - and with the response to the film so far, 2009 is starting off as a great one for him, indeed.

The Wrestler is out from 16th January in UK cinemas - don't miss 'the Rourke return'.

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