One Sunday morning several years ago, my best friend and I woke up around 8 a.m. after a long, hard night of partying. She was supposed to be at work in half an hour. It clearly wasn't going to happen.

"I don't know what to call in with," she said. "I've used up every excuse in the book lately. I've called in with the flu, a cold, dead grandma, broken toe, everything. I'm out of ideas."

"I'm going to pee," I told her. "You'll figure something out."

I returned to the bedroom to hear her explaining to her boss that she had the worst toothache ever, and would have to stay home. She hung up the phone, and we laughed until we passed out again.

La Lohan has found herself in a similar situation, having been hospitalized four times in 2006, for causes ranging from "asthma" to "exhaustion" to "dehydration" to "breaking her wrist" (when she got drunk, slipped, and fell at a party). Now, just four days into the new year, Lindsay's in the hospital again, this time for "appendicitis." According to her rep, her appendix was successfully removed, and she's now resting comfortably. Stay tuned for March, when Lindsay will enjoy a brief stay at Cedars Sinai for an "abortion."

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